TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Roo Roo is Fun


So I have to admit it that Rooie is a lot of fun to play with. She is often up for wresting...


and playing leap dog.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I-9's Are Stupid!


Here is a picture of Roo Roo saying "woo" for those of you who want to see it.

My Human told me that she's probably going to be busy with a bunch of stupid paperwork preparing for an audit at her job next week. She will be making sure that all of her employee's I-9 documents are filled out correctly. I asked her what I-9's are and she said this:

I-9's are a document that the United States government makes businesses keep on their workers to show that they have adequate documentation for legally working in the country.

I then asked her if she had to make sure that the documents were authentic and she said:

No. The government doesn't require businesses to actually make sure the documents are not forgeries or fake. They just want businesses to have a document that shows that they looked at some sort of idea.

So then I asked told her that it seemed pretty easy (and stupid). I asked her what she had to make sure was okay for the audit. She said:

I have to make sure that the correct color ink is used, and make sure that proper abbreviations are used. And also make sure that no stray marks are on the document.

After this I wandered away because it was boring and stupid.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A Repeat for Holly


This classic Turbo Blog entry original "aired" on July 7, 2006.

My Human found a beer a few years ago called Turbodog. It's made in Louisiana by the Abita company. After she found it, she bought a Turbodog hat and t-shirt.

I'm definitely in favor of products named after me.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Update On Things


My poop is much, much better. I appreciate your concern. My Human ended up with a poop problem, too. But she is also feeling much, much better. I went to the vet today. I now weigh in at around 50 pounds. I've packed on a few pounds of muscle since my last weigh-in. I'm a lean, mean Tubey machine!

Speaking of machines, that stupid Dyson has to go to the Dyson Hospital. It needs a clutch transplant.

I don't know exactly what happened to the stupid Dyson, but it might have eaten too many of the berries that Roo Roo brought in the house:

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Stupid Poops


Yesterday I had the stupid runny poops going on! The upside is that my Human got me some delicious treats that made the poops slow down. And the even more upside was that she cooked me a delicious dinner of boiled beef and rice. The downside was that I had blood trickling out of my hind end and that I'm going to have to go to the v-e-t. I am still full of energy, though. I feel great, but my poops do not!

It's still hot and stupid outside. Yesterday we had some big stupid winds blow through our county. That caused our internet not to work last night.

Speaking of the weather...the guy on TV who likes to babble about "weather events" says that by this upcoming weekend our temperatures will be in the upper eighties, which will be nice!

I'm closing with a picture of me as a little guy (and Fargo and Meeps):

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Big Mouths Strike Again


It's hot and stupid outside. I'm not very motivated to post much, so below are a picture of Lex and one of Meepie.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Stupidity Offsets


I came up with another brilliant idea to separate stupid humans from their money. I'm now offering to sell them "stupidity offsets." I've already persuaded a bunch of humans to give me money so they will be less stupid. It's really a win/win situation. The humans feel better about themselves because they think that they are less stupid, and I have more money for my campaign!

Below are a couple of pictures of me informing the humans about this:

Wednesday, August 01, 2007



Tonight I was practicing my dignified look for a future campaign poster:

When Meepie decided to butt in!

We've been waking my Human up at 2 in the morning to let her know that there is a stupid cat or no-possum out on the deck. We thought she'd want to know. Turns out we were wrong. Who can figure out humans?