TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Sunday, September 30, 2007

4 Huskies & A Little Carpet Damage


For obvious reasons, this is one of our favorite photos. As you can see I was just a little thing when this was taken. And this was taken at the place we used to live. You'll notice the carpet damage in the lower right paw corner. Fargo wants everyone to know that he was the creator of this. He is very skilled with renovations!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Sauna Farmer Nag!


My Human is easily amused. She likes to play with anagrams. She used to work for a company (let's call it Yo, Bear Lard). Her boss was a man we'll call Mojo Cakes.

She now works as a Career Humus Son Coordinator or as a Human Accordion Rooster User for a company called Obscene Slug Visitor.

6 Sea Bikini Ushers live at our house...Well, Lex is A Yak Hut Ski, actually. And Fargo is probably a Shaky Alum.

I don't recall if I ever said where we live. We live north of Lubricious Mimosa.

Thanks for stopping by!

Your pal, Bob Three Suit

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Updated Template


I've updated my template. If I don't have your blog listed, please let me know and I'll add it.

Also, you'll notice that I have added the standings of the Husky Football League. I decided to track university's with football teams that are wise enough to have Huskies as mascots. If you notice a school I've overlooked, let me know that too.

Rooie wanted me to feature a picture of her and "her" car. She said it's hers because it's cute and fun.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Car and Nicknames


The lovely and talented Bama & the Army of 4 have tagged me to share the car that most fits my me-ness and my nicknames.

Okay! To the left is my car. It's named after me, so it's my car! The Porsche 911 Turbo! Wooo! The car is also known as the Porsche 930, so that's kind of like a nickname.

Speaking of nicknames...my Human is continuously giving all of us new nicknames. So this list is just partial:

HURICANE AKARA TURBOFIRE: Turbo, Tubey, Tube Wolf, T-Wolf, Turby, Tubes, Tub-Tub, Tubby, Tibby, Tib-Tib, Tube Poop, Poopie, Stinkhead, Stink Wolf, Drippy, Dippy...

AURORA BOREALIS: Aurora, Roo Roo, Rooie, Roo, Ruby, Rubby, Rippy, Ripper, Rubbo...

FARGO NORTH DOGKOTA: Fargo, Farky, Cowboy, Barko, Barky, Cow Poop, Parky, Floppy Cow, Flippy...

DR MISHA MEEPENSTEIN: Misha, Meepie, Meep, Meeps, Moopie, Moop, Mooie, Murpy, Murky, Meat Peep, Meat Poop...

LEX HOUDINIDOG: Lex, Lexie, Lee, Lippy, Loopy, Lumpy, Louie, Bumpy...

NIKI 6: Niki, Needle, Noodle

By the way, the others have cars, too. But right now I'm too annoyed with dial-up modem speed to search for the pictures. I'll do something about it later.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Who Dunnit?


Someone ate the modem cord and the network cable at our house.

It wasn't me.

It wasn't Roo Roo.

It wasn't Meepie.

It wasn't Niki.

It wasn't even that stupid Lex.

IT WAS FARGO!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

What?! The Human Nose! (AKA Humans Don't Have Much Sense)


I was thinking more about humans last night. Yet another reason that humans are pathetic is their sense of smell. Humans only have the ability to identify about 5 things by smell: smoke, cinnamon, skunk, bacon, and farts. And when humans do smell farts, they never seem to be able to identify the farter! I mean, how many times have you heard of some poor dog being blamed for a human fart?!

And humans like to brag that they have better eye sight than canines. Yeah, I don't know about that. I recently read that 96 million people in the United States wear glasses. How many dogs do you know who wear glasses? I don't know of any!

Hearing...yeah, like humans can hear anything! Look at their stupid ears. They are stationary and are on each side of their stupid heads! Our ears can move. We can point our ears and listen behind us while looking forward.

Right now I can only think of one thing humans can do better than dogs...play the trombone!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Truth About Humans


We all have to live around humans. Some are better than others, but they are all stupid and they are all lazy. Humans would prefer to sit on their butts in chairs rather than get up and enjoy a nice game of furniture olymics or wrestling.

We canines are blessed with 4 legs, which give us great speed. Humans, on the other hand, have only 2 legs and they are very slow compared to us.

When we dig holes, we use our paws. Humans use big, stupid construction equipment!

And Humans sit on their butts to travel great distances! What sense does that mean?

Many humans go to a place they call "work" each week day leaving their canine companions behind. And what do lots of these humans do? They sit on their butts in chairs!

Humans in any job they hold are more happy to sit on their butts than actually do any work. Strangely (in most cases) the less physically active a human is in his or her job, the more money they earn!

And if a human has a choice between taking the word of another human or getting out of a chair and checking on something for his or herself, the human will chose to just sit and trust!

I strongly believe we can exploit these character flaws in our favor. What do you all think?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

New Friends


I'm in the process of visiting all the Dogs With Blogs Blogger's Blogs. I'm making lots of new friends and will be added some new links this weekend.

I wanted to call your attention to just one of the fantastic blogs I've visited lately. His name is Russell and he's a Shar Pei. He answers lots of questions on his blog, so stop by if you want to learn something.

I learned something about Russell, however. I think he's an inventor. I found that there is a brand of pen named after his breed!

Sunday, September 09, 2007



Why is it okay for humans to disturb our sleep, but they get bent out of shape when we wake them up? This morning we woke my Human up at 5:30am. She let us out and back in. We all went back to sleep. Then we woke her up at 6:30am. She opened the door for us to go out and in as we desired. We all went back to sleep. Then about 7:30am, we decided that she'd slept long enough! She's lazy!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Name Game


What is your name? Turbo
4 letter word: Tube
Vehicle: Toyota Tercel
TV Show: Top Chef
City: Toronto
Boy Name: Timothy
Girl Name: Thelma
Alcoholic Drink: Tequila
Occupation: Tug Boat Captain
Something you wear: Tie
Celebrity: Tippi Hedren
Food: Tortillas
Something found in a bathroom: Toilet Paper
Reason for being late: Torn Pants!
Cartoon Character: Tennessee Tuxedo
Something You Shout: Tough S##t!

Thursday, September 06, 2007



My good friends Star and Jack requested that I take some of the Russian words my Human wasn't using and put them here so that their human can make pictures and teach human puppies something.

A long time ago, my Human studied Russian. Then she studied Ukrainian. She also studied German, Modern Hebrew, Sanskrit, and Bahasa Malaysia. My Human's stupid, though 'cause she can't speak Sibe or Dog at all! (By the way, the title of this post is "woooo" in Russian.)

i = like the ea sound in scream

e = eh (like what humans say when they can't hear something)

Звезда (zvezda) Star

ДЖак (Dzak) Jack

карандаши (karandashi) pencils

книги (knigi) books

учитель (oochitel) teacher

тигр (tigr) tiger

ковбой (kovboy) cowboy

мальчик (malchik) boy

девушка (devooshka) girl

глупость (gloopost) stupidity

собака (sobaka) dog

кот (kot) cat

My Human had to memorize a stupid poem in her Russian class. The guy who wrote the book believed that the weirder the vocabulary, the easier it was to memorize. That's true, however my Human seldom has to talk about talking cockroaches in Russian.

Below is my Human's favorite poem:

Между стулом и столом
Режет Женя нос с ножом,
Перед братом и отсом.
Это очень странный дом

Roughly translated this is:

Between the chair and the table
Zhenya is cutting his nose with a knife,
In front of his brother and father.
This is a very strange house.

My Human is очень странный also!!!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Middle Name Game


A while ago I was tagged to play the middle name game. I'm sorry, but I've forgotten who tagged me. My Human has been extra stupid lately, so my mind has been a bit distracted.

My full name is Huricane Akara Turbofire. I've decided to use Akara because it's the name in the middle.

A is for action, because I'm always on the go!

K is for Kongs, although I don't like them much.

A is for anger, because stupid things make me angry.

R is for rib bones, because they are fun to gnaw on.

A is for Alaska, because although I've never been there, I'd love to go!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Human Priorities Can Be Stupid!


My Human picked the stupid Dyson up from the Dyson hospital yesterday. It's sucking up the fluff just as good as it used to again!

I found something really stupid on the internet. Why humans would spend $7583.00 on that I don't know! It might be good to eat, however!

Look at this: For that much money humans could buy

690 large Cuzes

1519 stainless steel 2 quart bowls

2962 bags of Beggin' Strips (6 oz size)

7582 pounds of Nutro Natural Choice Lamb & Rice dog food

etc, etc, etc...

I'm bored and there are other things to do!