TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Farewell Kelsey Ann & Timber


We are wooing sadly for 2 friends who have crossed the rainbow bridge this week; Kelsey Ann, a Siberian Husky & Timber, an Alaskan Husky. We know that they will be missed on this planet, but are having fun with all the other dogs who are running around on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

I'll close with a quick update about me. Charlie, the Big Dog has asked my help with a project involving a human who is enamored with him. I also will post soon a little something about a stupidity I saw on TV.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

My Niece


My niece Cornelia Marie is now living with my cousin Sitka in Georgia. She is really a chip of the old Tubey. Not only does she look like me, but she yells at things that are stupid, too. I've heard that her humans call her "Tubette."

Below is a picture of Cornelia Marie (on the left) and me as Turbo Puppy (on the right). I bet you didn't know that I've mastered the art of time travel.

In other news, my Human got me a new laptop. It's faster than the old stupid computer.

And in more other news, my Human has a stupid itchy rash all over her body.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Turbo Promise & More Stupid Human News


I promise that I will not interupt your TV shows with my political advertisements.

And now for the real stupid news story from my home state:

JEFFERSON CITY, MO -- The police valor medals were in place, the furniture in the governor's Capitol office was rearranged and the reporters were assembled. But there was a suspicious void at the front of the room.

The four police officers being honored for their composure while facing personal danger weren't there. No one had told them about Wednesday's ceremony.

Missouri Public Safety Director Mark James apologized for the goof and announced after about 15 minutes that the event was canceled.

A spokeswoman for Gov. Matt Blunt said he used the sudden free time for a meeting. The police officers will get their medals at a later date.

(Copyright ©2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Human Bureaucracy Is Stupid


I read an article about a New OrleansPolice Officer who was suspended for wearing the wrong shirt 15 minutes before his retirement.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Fun At Home


We had a lot of fun at home this evening. Here's a picture of 4 of us.

Maybe you were wondering where Misha was. He was playing hide & Meep:

Roo Roo is a lot of fun to chase:

Meepie and Fargo looked for something:

Then Lex and Fargo looked for something else:

Rooie ran towards the camera:

I ran away from the camera:

I ended my romp with a quick trip to the pool:

Monday, July 07, 2008

Sunday, July 06, 2008

New Ad & Stupid Human Legislation & Vet Update


The stupid humans in the U.S. Senate created his nifty bit of legislation. Apparently this is what tax dollars go to. (It will be far different when I'm in charge!)

Title: A resolution recognizing soil as an essential natural resource, and soils professionals as playing a critical role in managing our Nation's soil resources.
Sponsor: Sen Brown, Sherrod [OH] (introduced 1/31/2008) Cosponsors (6)
Latest Major Action: 6/23/2008 Passed/agreed to in Senate. Status: Resolution agreed to in Senate without amendment and with a preamble by Unanimous Consent.

Let's hear it for dirt!

I went to see Dr. Debbie yesterday. I am in perfect health, except for my stupid seizures. I weighed in at 52.6 pounds. When I got to the office, I immediately grabbed and shook a stuffed Clydesdale horse, just to keep it in line! Dr. Debbie does not feel that it's time yet for me to be on seizure meds, so we'll continue to monitor that.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

I Like Judge Judy


I like watching Judge Judy because she yells at humans and tells them they are stupid.

She said on an episode I saw yesterday:

Dogs aren't stupid. They do what they do. People are stupid!

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Candidate Turbo Chastises Media

H.A. Turbofire Chastises Media

By June Hood of the Times’ staff
Published Thursday, July 3, 2008

Within 24 hours, almost 400,000 people had tuned in to Huricane Akara Turbofire as he snapped at the staff of a TV network before explaining how he intended to save the country from a stupidity implosion during his presidency.

Clearly ruffled after just driving past staff protesting his plan to end stupidity, Dr. Turbofire hit out at a technician who failed to reply when he said "hello" when placing his microphone.

"It's a matter of upbringing," he told the man. "When you're a guest you have the right to expect a hello... Or we're not in the public service here, we are at a demonstration ... incredible... and serious."

"That's going to change," he added menacingly.

He then turned to one of the interviewers, Gerry Clerk, asking him "How long did you spend in Siberia?" – apparently referring to the journalist not having been given an on-camera role for a while.

Full of nervous ticks, the impatient canine tapped his fingers and played with his Patek Philippe watch – a present from his an admirer – asking whether the studio clock is working.

The unedited pictures of Dr. Turbofire were clearly released by irate network staff, although they denied this.

Later during Monday's broadcast interview, Dr. Turbofire laid into human television accusing it of not helping to eradicate stupidity.
One of two presenters in the studio who had signed a vociferous petition against his reforms hit back that such programs already existed.

Dr. Turbofire, whose popularity has been increasing for months, is said to have gain a lot of support after a video was posted on the internet in which he insulted a chicken during an agricultural fair in February.

It has been viewed several million times. Another, when he appeared to be drunk at a K9-8 press conference last year, has also had millions of hits.

Dr. Turbofire's Sibertarian wing of the Dogmacrat party last night condemned the leak, saying: "Citizens have the right to expect less stupidity from a journalist."

The television network said it had launched an internal investigation to identify those responsible for the leaked film.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

No Diggitty


You will notice that this is a picture of me not digging. A human came to our yard with a white, purple, and hot pink machine to dig up an area to fix our water leak. He wouldn't let us help! Roo Roo told him what she thought about that, but my stupid Human shush her.

I will be going to visit Dr. Debbie on Saturday to get medicine for my stupid seizures. I am neither confirming nor denying that I will be offering her the position of Veterinarian General once I am President.

I have been busy, between napping and not digging, coming up with more political ads. I'll be releasing them in the future (rather than the past).