TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Stupid Human Law #2


In Hartford, CT the following was a law:

It is illegal to educate dogs.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Thanks C$ & Opy (and Greg & Brooke)!


There is nothing better than a new Cuz. My Human got wound up about the 90201 tunes and the vegemite, but I don't care about that. I only care about the Cuz. I am angry with my stupid Human, however, for not coming home immediately with the Cuz.

Much love C$, Opy, Greg, & Brooke!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Stupid Human Law #1


The following was a law in Oklahoma:

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

Sunday, April 27, 2008



I was looking over the upcoming primaries and I thought I post where they will be.

May 3--Guam
May 6--Indiana & North Carolina
May 13--Nebraska & West Virginia
May 20--Kentucky & Oregon
May 27--Idaho
June 1--Puerto Rico
June 3--Montana, New Mexico, & South Dakota

Although I have already been in Nebraska for their primary, I've decided to do it again, just because I can.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Husky Logo #68


Ha woo, Huskies of Sheldon High School in Sacramento, CA.

A lot of schools like the design of the husky on the left and use it in various color schemes. I think it's pretty cool looking!

And finally, below is the husky from their student handbook. I like it too!

Friday, April 25, 2008



A couple nights ago, we saw a public service announcement about the environment. Some actor who is on a USA Network show showed a picture of the earth and said "this is the way astronauts see our planet." Then he showed a picture of a brown earth and said "this is the way astronauts would see the earth when it's polluted."

So, apparently, the reason we shouldn't pollute is so that astronauts will have something pretty to look at.

Have you ever notice that humans are stupid? They get all worked up about one thing. Then they over react trying to solve that "problem" only to cause another problem. My favorite examples of this are when humans introduce an non-local species of plant or animal into the local environment to take care of an alledged problem. Then the non-native species takes over the local ecosystem causing a bigger problem because there is no natural preditor. (Examples of this include kudzu, the Northern Snakehead, and the new 5 dollar footlong commercial.)

A big problem with humans is that they aren't patient and think that they can solve anything. And it seems to me that whatever humans choose to do, it's going to be the wrong thing.

Thursday, April 24, 2008



Attention little D'Azulian Nieces & Nephew! When you are a bit older, you'll get to do things like this. But girls, be gentle with your only brother.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Stupid Human Television


I don't understand human television. I don't get why humans wouldn't watch a show of nothing but dogs. After all, the Puppy Bowl pulls major viewership each year!

CBS has a tv show called Big Brother. We don't watch it, but we have a basic understanding of what the show is about.

For some reason, my Human decided to stay up late on Monday night watching some of a 3 hour show on the one of the many Showtime network stations we get. The show was called Big Brother After Dark. It was "live" feed of the people who live in the Big Brother house. My Human watched about 1/2 an hour of these 2 female humans curling their eyelashes and blow drying their hair. My Human listened to a 15 minute conversation about dental retainers. One of the Big Brother females will have to wear a lower retainer for the rest of her life. They my Human watched this same female cut a bagel, put it into a toaster oven, then put cream cheese on it and eat each half very slowly over the course of a 1/2 hour.

The retainer wearing slow bagel eating woman was evicted from the Big Brother House last night.

I tell you what, humans (mine in particular) are even more stupid than I previously thought!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

PA Victory


Here's my victory speech:

Thank woo to all of my supporters! Now let's eat some cheese, bacon, and thanks to Kelsey Ann some Lebanon bologna!

Pennsylvania Votes


Today is the day that Pennsylvania finally casts their ballots in the Presidential Primaries. I'm not sweating it out. I know that I will have many votes by many non-stupid Pennsylvanians. My only question now is how many more votes will I get than any other stupid human candidates. Of course, I'm not directly running against them...yet. I just want them to know that I am a legitimate threat.

In closing, I am sharing with you a few pictures of my signs around the state:

Monday, April 21, 2008



I've been having a good and successful time campaigning in Pennsylvania with my Khampaign Khoordinator Khyra. She brought me to the Liberty Bell where I gave a speech on liberty:

Citizens of Pennsylvania, thank woo very much for inviting me to your state. I have been asked to tell you what "liberty" means to me. According to Merriam-Webster, liberty is

1: the quality or state of being free: a: the power to do as one pleases b: freedom from physical restraint c: freedom from arbitrary or despotic control d: the positive enjoyment of various social, political, or economic rights and privileges e: the power of choice

2 a: a right or immunity enjoyed by prescription or by grant : privilege b: permission especially to go freely within specified limits

3: an action going beyond normal limits: as a: a breach of etiquette or propriety : familiarity b: risk, chance c: a violation of rules or a deviation from standard practice d: a distortion of fact

4: a short authorized absence from naval duty usually for less than 48 hours.

Now, let us celebrate our liberty with cheese & bacon!

Sunday, April 20, 2008



(Please note that I will be featuring pictures from my Pennsylvania campaign and my speech on liberty tomorrow.)

I believe it is important for all canines and humans to be well nourished. I am submitting my food pyramid for your benefit. The explanation is below the diagram.

The bottom layer, bacon, is the most important layer and we should all eat a lot of bacon. The next layer is the cheese layer. We should eat slightly less cheese than bacon. Of course, we should all consume an equal portion of banana chips and Cheez-It's. And finally, and certainly not least, is the Froot Loop layer. It is very important for us to eat several different types of froot. And by eating Froot Loops, we can eat yellow froot, orange froot, blue froot, red froot, and (most importantly) green froot.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Husky Logo #67


I am surprised that no one from any of the 66 previous husky companies or schools has stuck a comment on my blog either pleased or displeased that I've featured them and in some cases criticized their logo.

Anywoo, I have no complaints about today's featured husky logo. Say "ha woo" to the husky of Nathan Hale High School of West Allis, Wisconsin. This husky looks like a husky! He (or she) looks like he (or she) would be fun to wrestle with, destroy things with, and hang out with in general.

In fact, I think that the husky in the logo below has something to be destroyed in his (or her) mouth!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Gluten Free

I know that allergies and other intolerances are a big problem for canines and non-canines. My Human has some stupid allergies (corn, soy, & cockroaches to name 3). My Human bought a box of butter today. It was labeled that it was gluten free, which is important for humans with celiac disease to know. That got me thinking that there are a lot of things that are gluten free that are not labeled as such. Below is a partial list of my findings:

  • cuzes
  • bacon
  • sea salt
  • Siberian husky fluff
  • the internet
  • rocks
  • water faucets
  • fresh fruit (not to be confused with froot loops)
  • lightning
  • thunder
  • eggs

I hope this was helpful to you.

Wa wa wa woooooo!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ignored (So Far)


My Khampaign Khoordinator Khyra has pawed an email to Brian Williams of the NBC Nightly News informing him of my campaign. He still has not acknowledged me or my khampaign!

You may have also noticed that I was not at the debate between Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama. That is okay. I am not a member of the Democrat party and that debate was for members of that party only. I am a proud member of Sibertarian wing of the Dogmacrat party.

I will be dazzling fans of debates after this primary season is over.

There has been some speculation on who my running mate will be. This is not a decision to be rushed into, and it will be determined at my pawty's convention this summer.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Look Out


I found these pictures of Lex, Fargo, & Meeps. They were taken before I was hatched.

In other news, those stupid ticks are out. My Human found one climbing up her leg.

Hey! Here's a picture of me!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Read My Lips!


As I've said previously, I will eliminate taxes in my term as your President.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Fargo At Rest


The weather this weekend was nice a cold--in the 30's (Fahrenheit). But my stupid Human didn't go outside and enjoy it! We didn't have snow like somepups did, though.

Our neighbor cows have been staring at us and mooing all weekend. I don't know what's up with that!

Here is a picture of Fargo relaxing:

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Czars & Tax Returns

A week ago, Queen Meeshka woo'ed this comment on my blog:

Ms. Clinton just announced that she will be hiring a "Poverty Czar" so that there will not be poverty in the U.S. What positions with scary communistic titles will you be creating?

I also noticed that you haven't released your Tax records, as a dog for the people I think the public would like a clear understanding of your material wealth and how you are better able to relate to their fiscal responsibility issues because of your lack of pockets or line of credit.

I'll address the tax question first by referring you to click on the picture of my return to biggify it.

Now for the Czar part. I've always thought that it was stupid that humans use the word "Czar" to refer to someone that they have put in charge of some stupid part of their government. In my government, I will be assigning dogs, other animals, and even some non-stupid humans to positions such as the Money Lead Dog, the Education Swing Dog, and the Nutrition Wheel Dog. That way everyone will know their places!

Also, remember that a czar is a tsar is a caesar is a kaiser.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Husky Logo #66


Last week I featured an electric company, this week it is a plumbing company. Say woo to Husky Services of Colchester, Essex. I can't think of any breed better suited to the excavation work needed before the pipes go in. I do have 1 quibble, though. The husky looks more like a malamute.

Friday, April 11, 2008



I have noticed that human politicians will state the obvious in an attempt to persuade voters that they should be elected. I decided to create a new ad campaign based on this philosophy.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Climate Control


I read an article today that human scientist announced that there will be floods and drought on the earth. Humans are so stupid.

Okay, here is my prognostication on the climate:

Sometimes it will rain. Sometimes it won't rain. It'll snow sometimes (although not enough for me). It's going to get hot in the summer. It will get cold in the winter. Some days the temperature will seem hotter than it should be for your particular season. But on other days it will seem too cool.

Nation of Laws


I have noticed that human politicians will state the obvious in an attempt to persuade voters that they should be elected. I decided to create a new ad campaign based on this philosophy.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

You Know What Is Stupid?


Those stupid spammers that are visiting various blogs leaving messages like

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the whateverstupidthing, I hope you enjoy. The address is blah blah blah. A hug.

and other similar ones.

When I'm President, I'll be launching Siberian action against them!!!!

Youth Education


I have noticed that human politicians will state the obvious in an attempt to persuade voters that they should be elected. I decided to create a new ad campaign based on this philosophy.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Crime and Justice


I have noticed that human politicians will state the obvious in an attempt to persuade voters that they should be elected. I decided to create a new ad campaign based on this philosophy. I'll be unveiling these advertisements over the next few days.

Rain Today


My Human is stupid. I just thought I should point that out first. She is not at her job today because she "isn't feeling well." Whatever. 4 of us were outside (me, Fargo, Meeps, & Roo Roo). My Human let us back in. But she didn't notice that Fargo was outside. She left him outside by himself for 15 minutes or so in the rain!

Today's picture is of me. There is some stick remnants in front of me. You might have noticed some upholstery damage on the chair. I didn't do it, actually. It was done by Fargo and Meepie. My Human got the chair for $2 or so at a cancer society garage sale, so she doesn't mind the damage.