TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Economic Stimulus Plan


As the currency of the United States is becoming less valuable, the prices of important things like Cuzzes goes up. As a candidate for the Presidency, I am developing a plan to stimulate the economy. I will be eliminating taxes. Yes, no more income tax, sales tax, or any type of tax or tacks.

But how will I be funding the government? Well, big government is stupid. I am for making it small. There are few things that the government does successfully.

I do know, however, that there are still needs for government funding. And I do have a three part plan to raise money.

1. As I outlined in my blog entry from June 30, 2007, humans are willing to part with their money willingly if you send them an email. It helps, of course to include a cute picture and to be polite.

2. Humans are not only stupid, but gullible. They are more than willing to part with their money if you tell them that they will be better off (less stupid) if they were to give their money to someone else. You can read more about this aspect of my plan in my August 5, 2007 blog entry.

3. This is my new idea. I have seen commercials on television for companies that encourage humans to mail them their gold, silver, and platinum which the company will exchange for cash. As I've mentioned, humans are stupid and gullible. We will have them send us their gold and we can send them a picture of a cute puppy. Puppy pictures are definitely worth their weight in gold.

The real beauty of my economic plans is that they are completely voluntary! To paraphrase what P.T. Barnum once said, "No one's ever gone broke underestimating the intelligence of humans."


NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

Your ekhonomikh plan is sooooo fiskhally sound -

Unlike what the stoopidest of the humans have khonjured up -

Five weeks from today, Tubey will win Pencilveinee-ya!


The Brat Pack said...

You are a GENIUS! Totally brilliant plan.


The Army of Four said...

Perfect. Simply perfect!
Tail wags,

Amber-Mae said...

Hey Turbo! Thanks for visiting my bloggie. Oh my, I must say you are a genius for sure!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

The Empty Nest said...

And who said, "There's a sucker born every minute"?

Charlie said...

Good thinking, Turbo! And I'll make sure mom pays our Turbo Tax this year.
- Charlie

Mack said...

Did you invent TurboTax?? Is that where it got its name? Coooool!

Lizzy said...

Turbo, you are a genius. That's all I can say.


Khady Lynn said...

Another shining examply of your NONstupidity and totaly brilliance!!!

No wonder you are the future president!!


Dino and Family said...

You make a good president, Turbo!!!

D'Azul Siberian said...

Brilliant plan. We know where you can get puppy pictures. BTW, your new neices and nephews will be here in about a month.

The D'Azul Siberians