TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Thursday, February 28, 2008

2nd Turbo Blogaversary


Happy Blogaversary to me!!! Here's my original post if you are interested in visiting the past.

Thank you to all of my readers and friends. I appreciate each and everyone of you.

As we all know, blogging is a time consuming, often fun, and sometimes tedious activity. Not surprisingly there are many blogs that end abruptly and we are left wondering what happened. I'd like to mention a few that I miss:

It's A Fo Fo World Out There
Althea's Blog
Poseidon's Prose
Kelsey and Smokey
Cal's Place
Hank the Dog Blog
Hobbes Bonjourno!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Cheese Found


As I was leaving the stupid cows, a non-stupid cow stopped me.

She said that she knew what had happened to the cheese that was missing from the Swiss Cheese. The cheese was being stored in a warehouse. Just like Kathryn & Ari said!

Fortunately, we were able to claim the cheese.

This poor, stupid man didn't know what to do.

We loaded the boxes of cheese into my truck and hit the highway. I will be delivering cheese to needy dogs. I am caninatarian. Mission: Complete.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

How's Cows


As you know, I am in Switzerland to find out what happened to the cheese that is missing from Swiss Cheese. I decided to go talk to some cows. I found some in this area that for some reason is not having winter.

TUBEY: Woo, cow!

COW: Moo!

TUBEY: I'm here on a mission. I've noticed that there are holes in Swiss Cheese. You are at the beginning of the cheese making process, so I thought I'd talk to you first.

COW: Moo!

TUBEY: Do you know anything about it?

COW: Moo!

TUBEY: Look, you stu-- I'm trying to be nice here. If you don't know anything about the missing cheese, just tell me.

COW: Moo!

TUBEY: I think that you're holding back on me.

COW: Moo!

All I learned from the experience is that cows are stupid...but delicious!

Monday, February 25, 2008

In Switzerland


I just got to Switzerland, and pup the weather is great in the town of Versoix!

I decided to sit moment on a bench:

Here I am outside of my rental car. I decided to get something small & sporty.

Next stop, the cows!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Hole Truth


I'm going over to Switzerland to investigate what happened to the cheese that should be in the holes! I'll let you know what I find out.

Husky Logo #59


Ha woo! Today I'm featuring the other Hoover High School Huskies. These huskies live in Clendenin, West Virginia.

Here's a thing:

Here's a helmet:

And here's a nice looking husky who was on their school's website:

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Pawsitive Thoughts for C$


My good friend Charlie is not feeling well. Please help us think pawsitive thoughts for him. We're wooing for you, Big Dog!

Inconsiderate Human


My Human is very inconsiderate. We should be getting a couple inches of snow today and tomorrow. My Human is insisting that she needs to go to work today AND tomorrow! She claims that she has to process her employees paychecks and then hand them out tomorrow. I think that is just a stupid excuse. I'm sure that her employees would understand that she needs to stay home and let me play in the snow. I am, afterall, cute!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

They Call Me "Mr. Tubes"


First of all, thanks go out to my Human for fixing our internet last night. She couldn't get it to work with a different phone line or with the spare modem. But then she restored the system to a previous date and it worked again. Who knows what happened? Not me. And I really don't care now.

Secondly, thanks to Wisconsin and Hawaii for my newest victories. Woo! And I really appreciated that my Wisconsin supporters let me have the cheese statue of me that they had put up. I will definitely put it to good use!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Technical Difficulties


Our stupid computer, stupid modem, stupid phone line was having problems. My Human didn't have time to figure out what the deal was. Wish her luck!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Important News!


GEORGE OSGOOD/Star-GazetteThe Oscar Mayer Wienermobile slid off U.S. Route 15 south of Mansfield on Sunday afternoon. by GEORGE OSGOOD/Star-Gazette
MANSFIELD -- Let's be frank: motor vehicle accidents aren't much fun for anyone.

But when a 27-foot-long tube-steak spins out on a snow-covered highway, it's bound to generate some grins.

That's what happened Sunday to an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile on Route 15 about two miles south of Mansfield (at least it didn't roll over).

The growler contained two "hotdoggers" -- driver Emily Volpini, 22, of Lexington, Ky., and Caylen Goudie, 22, of Hinsdale, Ill. Although they didn't relish the experience, they weren't hurt, investigating state Trooper Rex Johnson said.
"Hotdoggers" are goodwill ambassadors for Kraft Foods and Oscar Mayer. There are 12 of them in the country -- two for each of the six Wienermobiles. They spend a year on the job traveling around the country. Part of their job is to recruit their replacements.

On Friday and Saturday, Volpini and Goudie and the iconic frankfurter were at Syracuse University, fulfilling the promise to the winner of "A Weekend with the Wienermobile" contest. Sunday morning, the women and the wiener on wheels headed south toward Penn State, where they will try to recruit candidates for the 2008-09 hotdoggers from a stable of Nittany Lion hopefuls.

Mother Nature intervened, though briefly, at 12:20 p.m., putting the plastic porksicle on the median and out of service.

"We thought we had come out of the blizzard," Goudie said. "We thought we were through it. Then we hit a patch of ice. The Wienermobile weighs 7,000 pounds, so usually ice and snow isn't much of a problem. It was this time."
Stuck, Volpini called 911 dispatchers in Wellsboro. Though skeptical at first, they notified state police at Mansfield. As passersby called in the crash on cell phones, the dispatchers became convinced that the barkburger was indeed in hot water.
Police contacted Dave Kurzejewski of Costy's Truck and Auto Mart, and he showed up in short order with a heavy four-wheel-drive vehicle and some chains. Johnson, the trooper, grilled the women briefly and concluded that a routine and sober spinout was all he had on his plate.

Kurzejewski hooked up and Emily fired up the highway hot dog, and a few well-timed tugs later, the Wienermobile was back on the highway.
For Kurzejewski, veteran of hundreds of tows over the years, Sunday's experience was a new one.

"I've pulled out a lot of vehicles," he said. "But that's the first wiener I've ever pulled out."

It was a first for the women, too. They left none the wurst for wear.

"Usually we try to keep from scratching our buns," Goudie said. "But sometimes, things go wrong."

Resting Up


Tomorrow the primaries are in Hawaii & Wisconsin. Although I did go over to Hawaii to meet the voters there, I have spent more time in Wisconsin. Wisconsin is a very important state because of cheese. As you are well aware, I am ending each of my speeches with cheese and bacon for everyone. I also like Wisconsin because I can smell their dairy air.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Missouri Weather Is Stupid


Our weather here is so stupid. We never get any significant snow. We've been getting significant rain. Now, I do enjoy playing in the mud. And it is fun making paw prints in the house. Let's face it, nothing beats the expression of a human's face when you strategically put the paw prints just where he or she does not want them. But snow is so much better than rain!

How hot is it here right now? It's 44 stupid degrees Fahrenheit! And it is raining!

Yes, the forecast does say that we will have snow tonight and flurries tomorrow. But I am without hope.

I am hopeless...

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Husky Logo #58


Today I am featuring the husky of Hoover High School in Des Moines, Iowa. That is near where my good friend Summi and the Summi Mummi live. And the school is on a street called Aurora (Roo Roo?).

I had a hard time finding the husky logo of this school. It shouldn't have been this difficult. I had to search and search. I found the logo below on their webpage, buried in information about the different departments.

Some years ago, before I was around, my Human had a neighbor who eventually married a man who had gone to this high school. My Human was given a gift of the very socks this fortunation man had purchased when he went to the school in the 1970's. The former neighbor lady moved to Des Moines. She said that the school has a flag with the husky logo on it. But she is unwilling to climb the pole to "borrow" it.

During my research, I found that there is another Hoover Husky Having High School. This one in West Virginia. I'll feature them soon.

Friday, February 15, 2008

St. Louis Question


If you should ever encounter a human from St. Louis, do not be alarmed if he or she asks you which high school you went to. This is the single most important question for every native of St. Louis, Missouri. It does not matter what you are doing in your life at that point, you will still be asked about your high school. You could be professor, a doctor, a Siberian Husky, or even a presidential candidate. None of that matters to a St. Louisan. Nope. The only thing that matters is your high school.

I will answer this question. I attended Ann Gafke's Teacher's Pet in Columbia, MO.

When my Human** went to Mizzou, she encountered many St. Louisans. One of the most stereotypical was one who would also ask questions like, "So, how much did your father make last year?"

Another thing about St. Louisans is that where my Human would pronounce the word "fort" and "fart" differently, a human from St. Louis would pronounce them both as "fart." So, "fark" = "fork;" "shart" = "short;" etc.

But a "woo" is still a "woo" world wide.

**Please note that my Human has her own peculiarities. She is essentially an educated hillbilly from the north Ozarks.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Win! Win! Win! (and Win!)


Thanks to everyone and everywoo in the whole Potomac area. It was nice to be able to share cheese and bacon with my like minded supporters. A special woo goes out to Meeshka, Dakota, and Indy!

And congratulations to Uno the beagle who took BIS at WKC last night. Uno's from our town!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Potomac Primaries


While I was khampaigning for the Potomac Primaries, I was invited to stop by the Khapitol and address Khongress about stupidity.

Here's my entire speech:

You have asked me to come to speak to you about stupidity. Look to the left of you. Now look to the right. And finally, look at yourself. You are all stupid. Now it is time for some cheese and bacon.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Maine Event


The good dogs and the non stupid people of Maine were so enthusiastic about my campaign that they decided to hold a second khaukhus for me today. Why not do it a second time? So I went up there and enjoyed a lobster with Ari.

Victories Again!


Guam, Louisiana, Nebraska, Virgin Islands, and Washington! Thanks to all my supporters. Especially thank woos to Maya Marie, Missy, & Bella, Holly, and Kat & Steve. And of course to my khampaign khoordinator, Khyra.

Soon I will be revealing my exiting new tax plan. It's very fair, of course, because only the stupid will pay it...and they will do so willingly!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Husky Logo #57


A while ago I featured the sickly looking husky of the Blue Valley Northwest High School baseball team on Overland Park, KS.

Today I am featuring the much cooler looking soccer husky:

Thursday, February 07, 2008



Lex has been in charge of ensuring my Human leaves the house adequately dressed. But today she arrived at her job with her pants on backwards! And she was wearing dark green socks with a navy colored outfit!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Day After Super Tubesday


Thanks again to all my supporters everywhere! I certainly am glad that yesterday is over. You have, no doubt, heard that I did very well, winning everywhere. But there was a problem. The stupid state that I live in...I think it's called Misery...did not have my ballots ready at the polling places. I'm sure there will be some sort of revolt!

Did you hear that the Smithsonian has added my button to their display of important political memorabilia?

I also wanted to show you one of my billboards in an urban area:

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Super Tubesday


Message for humans:

Please remember to vote today--if you are voting for me. If you are voting for someone else, please forget to vote today.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Candidate At Home


Of course I won the Maine khaukhus. Thanks to everywoo, especially Ari!

Tomorrow is Super Tubesday, so I've been busy on the campaign trail. Fargo's helped me out. He volunteered to go up to North Dakota to poke around.

I thought everyone would enjoy some new photos of me. In the first one, Meeps interupted my Human trying to take a picture of me. The others are of me in my Human's bathroom. I don't know what's up with that wall paper!

Sunday, February 03, 2008



First of all, my stupid Human delayed me going out on the campaign trail. She locked me up in my box for a while because she said that I was being mean to Niki. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever...

Anywoo, below is the pattern on Meepie's new Lupine collar. It's called Bling Bonz:

And here's something else stupid about my Human. She allowed us to run out of treats. I prefer the Beggin' Strips, although I don't actually think they are bacon.

But what she gave us yesterday before she went to the store to get more B. Strips was bread! And I only got a 1/6 of a slice!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Husky Logo #56


I am once again not exactly featuring a husky logo per se. Today I am introducing you to a Finish music group called Husky Rescue. If you're a fan of indie chamber pop, give 'em a listen!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Maine, On The Rocks


So, Maine's Dogmacrat khaukhus is this weekend. I've been up there meeting everywoo and having a good time.

Have have had to leave the state occasionally, however. When I realized that my stupid Human had wandered out of the house and arrived at her workplace in a sleepy shirt, I understood that she needed more supervision. It's difficult, however. Last night she managed to not only put her sleepy shirt on wrong side out, but also backwards. And it has buttons on the front!!!!!!!!!

So, this morning I was trying to supervise her going to work preparation, but it was not an easy task. I also had to keep running to the living room where Lex was being stupid! It's not easy being me.

I want to address a question that Cosmos asked me about the www.tv.com website. No, I did not license my name for their TURBOVISION. My legal team is looking into it. Thanks for the heads up. I'll let your human know to give you some bacon.