TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Monday, March 31, 2008

Bob T Bear (esq)


I have recently become aquainted with a brown bear, named Bob T Bear (esq), who blogs in England. He is a very distinguished bear. I intend to help him with his Charmin cause.

I have included a photo of Bob:

And here I am paying honor to him:

Bob lives in a house with a delightful cwoco wagon blogger named Dilly.

Great Danes!


The company that my Human works for will be merged tomorrow with a big Danish company. I told my Human not to worry. I met a Great Dane when I was a puppy and she was very nice!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Saturday, March 29, 2008



So apparently they make candy out of chocolate covered cats. I don't think I approve!

Husky Logo #64


Today we are saying a very special woo to the Huskies of Monadnock Regional High School. I couldn't find any graphic huskies on their website, so I have used the picture of the red husky on their home page.

Here's where it gets exciting, though. They call their yearbook the Pandorian. Yep, they named their yearbook after my Great X 8 Grandfather Pando. He was the official mascot of the school.

One of the most important kennels in Siberian husky history was the Monadnock Kennels, and G8 Grandpa Pando was one of the most influential Siberian huskies for the development of the breed. He won 4 Specialty shows and 5 consecutive Best of Breeds at Westminster from 1957 to 1961. He also produced many puppies who went on to also be champions. Many of his pups also grew up to look a lot like him.

Black and white photos courtesy of Demidoff, Lorna B., and Michael Jennings. The Complete Siberian Husky. 1st ed. 6th printing. New York: Howell Book House, 1984. 83-102.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Kin Folk


I read a stupid article entitled Obama Related to Pitt, Clinton to Jolie. The human who wrote the article points out that both Mr. Obama & Mrs. Clinton are very, very distantly related to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. That would definitely help them be able to have the skill sets to be President.

Well, I can play that game too! I was examining my family tree on a website called PawVillage. My Great X 8 Grandfather is a Siberian husky named Pando (I will discuss him more tomorrow). My Great X 15 Grandfather is the world famous Togo.

Togo is arguably one of the most important Siberian huskies in history. Click on his name if you want to read about him. I think he gave more to society than Mr. Pitt or Ms. Jolie. I'd like to see those humans lead a sled across Alaska to save other humans!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Pottstown, PA Sonic!


Turbo visits Pottstown

By June Hood of the Times’ staff
Published Thursday, March 27, 2008

Presidential Candidate Huricane Akara Turbofire has finished his speech at the new Pottstown Sonic Drive-In. He is now heading to Reading to do a reading about leading.

Mr. Turbofire, who was introduced by both a human dressed as a Route 44 drink and one dressed as a hot dog, stood on a Sonic picnic table at about 1 p.m. The parking lot was filled with admiring human and canine supporters.

"Humans say that all elections are about the future," Mr. Turbofire noted. “This is certainly true, as you cannot go back in time and vote.”

The audience cheered when Mr. Turbofire said, "You may have noticed that unlike a certain human who is also visiting your city today, I did not block off streets prior to my visit, nor did I require that humans and animals be at all inconvenienced by my trip here. That is what government should be like!"

Mr. Turbofire mentioned the importance of finding a new, clean energy source, saying that poop burning technologies should not be ignored.

Mr. Turbofire concluded his speech with his now trademarked request for everyone to join him for cheese and bacon, but then he paused and said “and ice cream!”

At the conclusion of the speech, many supporters were lucky enough to shake his paw as he made his way to the ice cream machine.

Later Today


Later today I will be at a campaign stop in Pottstown, PA. In the morning, former President Clinton will be at a local high school to make people want to vote for his wife.

I do not have a spouse to campaign for me, but I am cute and fluffy. I think that trumps what any spouse could say any day of the week.

In closing, I am ending this entry with a couple pictures of me as a puppy. Please check back later today for my update about my Pottstown speech. I am shouting out a special "thank woo" to my Khampaign Khoordinator Khyra and good friend Echo who are helping me in Pennsylvania when I can't be there.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

88 Minutes


A new human movie is out called 88 Minutes.

It lasts 108 minutes.

Humans are stupid.

Kids Today!


Humans are stupid and get confused a lot. Last night when my Human was driving home she got really confused and stopped at the wrong house...the house next door. She thought she was talking to me:

Tubey, blah blah blah blah blah...

It wasn't me, though. It was my neighbor's kid. My Human apparently cannot tell the difference between Siberian huskies and goats.

This is me:

This is not me:

These are Siberian huskies:

These are goats:

It really isn't that difficult.

But I think that kids are just as stupid as my Human. The one in the picture below thought she could get milk out of my Human's finger. I know for a fact that milk comes out of refrigerators!

They are all stupid.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Helpful Human Hint


Oh, by the way, my Human wanted me to tell you that if you ever accidentally write song titles or draw a picture all over a dry erase board with permanent marker, you can clean up the ink by drawing over it with the dry erase pen and then erase it.

Not that she ever did this at her place of employment or anything.

Uh huh.

More Music


Some years ago, my stupid Human worked at a nursing home doing purchasing and a bunch of other things. She would listen to 1970's music, and she, the nurse she shared her office with, and her sales rep created new lyrics to the Carpenters' song Close To You.

Why do turds suddenly appear
Every time poo is near?
Just like pee
They long to be
Close to poo

Her clever nurse coworker also created an interpretive dance to the song Top Of The World. The nurse would act like she was climbing a ladder at the "on top of the world" part. Then she'd look down with her hand over her eyes at the "down on creation" part. When "the only explanation I could find" was sung, the nurse would act like she was looking through a big book while using a magnifying glass. Etc. Etc. Etc...

Humans are a pathetic group.

Monday, March 24, 2008



If you have ever wondered how to manipulate your human, here's a suggestion. Of course it works best on humans that are at least as old as mine is. Back in the 1970's, humans' popular music often was essential a story sung over a tune. Many of those songs will be stuck for hours in a human's brain if they are mentioned (Lucille, Thank God I'm A Country Boy, etc).

But there was this one song called Shannon by a human named Henry Gross. The song is about a human boy whose mother is sick, father is gone, and whose dog (Shannon) has floated out to sea.

Sunday, March 23, 2008



Stupid Blogger tried to hurl an insult at me today when I stopped by Scrabby Doo's blog to leave a message:

Turbo Math



Saturday, March 22, 2008

Husky Logo #63


Say "woo" to the Huskies of Harbor Creek High School in Pennsylvania!

I like that this husky has blue eyes, and I think that the orange makes him stand out.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Saturday Is National Corndog Day!


Saturday is a very important holiday, National Corndog Day. And this year I am not going to miss it like I did last year and the year prior. Corndogs are a valuable part of our economy. Please encourage your humans to purchase as many corndogs as they can. They are tasty. They are on a stick. And they have "dog" in their name. I ask woo, what is not to love?

And remember that I promised you that when I become President, that I will have 7 times the current number of important national holidays!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

What We Saw

Regarding my earlier blog, we have a lot of stupid no-possums and stupid cats running around. We also had a stupid squirrel this week. It could have been any one of those stupid things that we were looking at.

There is a stupid no-possum that is under our deck right now. We go out and smell it and I yell at it. I tell it that it's stupid and that it needs to leave.

Changing the subject, I have made a lot of new friends lately. I'm visiting each of the Dogs With Blogs blogs. Ha wooo new friends!!

Changing the subject again, Saturday, March 22, 2008 is an important day. I'll discuss it tomorrow.



What were we looking for?

You will notice that I am positioned for the highest view. I always like to be at the highest point.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Farewell Sasha


Last night we were saddened to read that our friend Sasha of Sashville had left her family for the rainbow bridge. She leaves behind Isis, Ray, Karen, and Eric.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Economic Stimulus Plan


As the currency of the United States is becoming less valuable, the prices of important things like Cuzzes goes up. As a candidate for the Presidency, I am developing a plan to stimulate the economy. I will be eliminating taxes. Yes, no more income tax, sales tax, or any type of tax or tacks.

But how will I be funding the government? Well, big government is stupid. I am for making it small. There are few things that the government does successfully.

I do know, however, that there are still needs for government funding. And I do have a three part plan to raise money.

1. As I outlined in my blog entry from June 30, 2007, humans are willing to part with their money willingly if you send them an email. It helps, of course to include a cute picture and to be polite.

2. Humans are not only stupid, but gullible. They are more than willing to part with their money if you tell them that they will be better off (less stupid) if they were to give their money to someone else. You can read more about this aspect of my plan in my August 5, 2007 blog entry.

3. This is my new idea. I have seen commercials on television for companies that encourage humans to mail them their gold, silver, and platinum which the company will exchange for cash. As I've mentioned, humans are stupid and gullible. We will have them send us their gold and we can send them a picture of a cute puppy. Puppy pictures are definitely worth their weight in gold.

The real beauty of my economic plans is that they are completely voluntary! To paraphrase what P.T. Barnum once said, "No one's ever gone broke underestimating the intelligence of humans."

Monday, March 17, 2008

St Patrick's Day 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all!

One of my most reached via Google blog entries is last year's St. Pat's post. Lots and lots of searchers have reached it while looking for info on UMR's St. Pat's traditions and shirts. In fact, I had more trouble than I should have trying to find this years shirt designs. UMR is now MS&T. (Missouri Science & Technology.)

If you want the background on the celebration in Rolla, MO and the history and other info, either read my entry from last year or look at the Best Ever blog.

Now for the 2008 MS&T logos:

The traditional, and reminiscent of shirts from bygone years design:

The for some reason orange design:

And the graffitiesque sweat pant design that doesn't say anything about the school:

Sunday, March 16, 2008



The delightful Kelsey Ann woo wooed me a question on my Field Day post on if we were running around off leash. The answer is yes. You can see the fence in the picture of me on the right. We live in a rural area, and we have more than one separately fenced off areas. So, we get to run around off leash a lot. Of course we are not allowed to run around off leash in unfenced areas, but Meepie and Lex have made a break for it a couple times. For more information on where we live, please visit this post.

So, what else have I been up to? Well, on Friday, Meepie brought a stick in to chew on.

And then I stared at him till he got off the bed and I could destroy the stick.

And I also played with the footless white Cuz.