Cut Backs

woo!

I have some important news that will impact humans, as well as dogs. My Human does Human Resources for a large, international commercial cleaning company. The warehouse manager pointed out to her that the size of the rolls of toilet paper the vendors where sending at shrunk by about 3/4th of an inch wide.

So what this means to us is that there will be less toilet paper for us to shred. And the actual rolls will also be smaller.

Businesses do this so that they can keep the price the same and maintain their profit margin.

20% Less!

woo!

My dog food costs as much this week as it did 2 weeks ago. But there is 20% less in the bag. This is very stupid! I guess they figured humans wouldn't notice that they weren't getting as much. Let me illustrate the difference:







To summarize: More is better!

Economic Stimulus Plan

woo!

As the currency of the United States is becoming less valuable, the prices of important things like Cuzzes goes up. As a candidate for the Presidency, I am developing a plan to stimulate the economy. I will be eliminating taxes. Yes, no more income tax, sales tax, or any type of tax or tacks.

But how will I be funding the government? Well, big government is stupid. I am for making it small. There are few things that the government does successfully.

I do know, however, that there are still needs for government funding. And I do have a three part plan to raise money.

1. As I outlined in my blog entry from June 30, 2007, humans are willing to part with their money willingly if you send them an email. It helps, of course to include a cute picture and to be polite.

2. Humans are not only stupid, but gullible. They are more than willing to part with their money if you tell them that they will be better off (less stupid) if they were to give their money to someone else. You can read more about this aspect of my plan in my August 5, 2007 blog entry.

3. This is my new idea. I have seen commercials on television for companies that encourage humans to mail them their gold, silver, and platinum which the company will exchange for cash. As I've mentioned, humans are stupid and gullible. We will have them send us their gold and we can send them a picture of a cute puppy. Puppy pictures are definitely worth their weight in gold.

The real beauty of my economic plans is that they are completely voluntary! To paraphrase what P.T. Barnum once said, "No one's ever gone broke underestimating the intelligence of humans."