TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Friday, November 30, 2007

Another Interview With My Human


First of all, thank you for letting me have some of the crusts from your sandwich this morning. I don't know if you noticed, but I repayed you by peeing on your bathtub.

*Sigh.* Yes, I noticed. You're welcome.

So, what's so great about the stupid striped Khats of Ol' Mizzou?

When I was a Freshman at the University of Missouri, they won only 1 football game. This was back in 1985. Since I first attended Mizzou, the football team's record is 108 wins, 151 losses, and 4 ties. And now they are #1. They've won 11 games and lost just 1 this year (so far). [Click here for the team's football records since 1985.]

It took them 22 years.

Yes. Mizzou sports teams have lost many games in weird and heartbreaking ways. Because of this, when non-fans mock the fact Mizzou is #1, it doesn't have as much effect as it might on other schools' fans. Missouri fans are used to failure and disappointment. The success this year is a new and novel experience.

I understand that it is your fault that Mizzou lost their bowl game last year. Please explain.

I said with about 6 minutes remaining in the 4th quarter, "I don't think even Missouri can blow this lead." Because of that, I don't consider that a game is won until a few minutes after then game is officially over.

Why do you wear that same stupid Missouri Tigers shirt every Friday now?

Because the 1 Friday I wore my Mizzou polo shirt they lost to Oklahoma--their only loss. I'm not taking any chances.

I've heard that if you feed me livergreat that the Mizzou Tigers will win.

Well, I haven't heard that, but since you brought it up I should probably do it to be on the safe side.

Why don't you go to see the football games in person?

I've never seen the team win a game in person. When I was a freshman, I was in Marching Mizzou. They didn't win any games that the band attended that year. I'm not taking any chances.

You're stupidstitious.

The word is "superstitious."

I know. I was making a point.

Why are you putting pictures of yourself on this blog entry rather than anything to do with Mizzou?

Because no one cares about your stupid team. My readers come here to read about me. I'm just humoring you by letting you talk about your obsession.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Campaign Billboard


What do you think of my new campaign billboard? It'll be popping up all over the place soon.




The 2008 Dogs With Blogs Calendar is now available.

The store also has some fine looking t-shirts.

That's all. Carry on.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Woo Wednesday


My good bud Mars has given me this fantastic award:

"The Community Blog Award celebrates people who reach out and make the blogger community a better one. It also underlines the importance of a blog's readership community, one of the most rewarding parts about blogging. It's the people that come back to comment, adding to the conversation, making you feel like someone is listening and interested."

Thanks, pal!

I've been thinking about mud, so here's a muddy picture of me!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Sleeping Cute


As I'm sure you are all aware, sleeping huskies are cute:

But Fargo was irreverent!

By the way, my Human startled me with a really weird noise on Saturday night when her stupid striped C-A-T-S (or Khats, if you speak Khyraese) scored a safety against the birds of Kansas. Look, I was sleeping. She should have been more considerate! Anyway, her stupid striped whatevers are now ranked #1, or #2. Mostly #1, though. Whatever that means...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Football Update!


Sadly, the Huskies lost to each team they played. They lost to Mountaineers, Cougars, and Cardinals.

But my Human is happy that her stupid striped C-A-T-S beat some stupid birds. The stupid C-A-T-S play some wagons next week for some stupid championship.

Oh yeah. I decided to see if I can be the new head football coach of the University of Nebraska. But I'll only do it if the team can be renamed the Corn Huskies!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Human Obsession


To answer the Ao4's question, no. I will not be going to the game. First of all, there aren't huskies playing in it, so it doesn't have any good points for me. Secondly, I think it's stupid.

But my Human won't be going either. She is stupid stitious right now. She's been wearing the same stupid Mizzou t-shirt every Friday this season, except for one. And that was the Friday before the only game that Mizzou lost. My Human has never been to a wining Missouri football game, so she feels like a bad influence! (Note to Sitka, when my Human went to the U of GA, the Bulldogs had their first losing season in a really long time. My Human moved away and the team starting winning again!)

Lots of stupid humans in Missouri and Kansas are bringing up stupid stuff that happened in the 1800's as a reason to hate each other. This is more proof that humans are stupid and we canines are superior. I'll be banning that sort of stupid behavior when I am President!

By the way, the head couch of Missouri does have a bit of a husky link. He was an assistant couch at the U of Washington in the 1970's and 1980's. So, I guess I'll root for Mizzou.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Defend The Shoe


Yesterday I discovered that you can go to the Nike website and design shoes and other stuff. I decided to design a pair of Air Turbos. The white on them represents snow. The green represents grass and other plants. The yellow represents...open communication.

I even put a husky head on it!

I think my Human would be very happy to receive this gift!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Life On The Campaign Trail


Sometimes other candidates butt into my campaign stops!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

'Nuff Said!


Life With Football

Okay, here's the Husky Football League wrap-up: Huskies beat Orangemen & Golden Bears. Huskies lost to Rams & Midshipmen. It looks like the Bloomsburgs, Saskatchewans, and the Michigan Techs regular seasons are finished.

My Human is stupid and getting stupider! As I've mentioned a few times before, she went to a stupid University with a stupid striped C-A-T for a mascot! I told her that she should have chosen her school more carefully! In other words, one with a husky for a mascot.

Anywoo, for some bizarre reason, the football team of this non-husky team has won 9 games and lost just 1. My Human is waddling around in a daze talking about BCS rankings and stupid stuff like that.

Next Saturday "her" team will be playing a bunch of stupid crimson & blue birds that is "her" school's biggest rival. (Now, I'm saying that they are stupid because they are birds, and birds, by nature, are stupid. Just like humans, actually. I'm not saying that they are stupid because they are from that state that some of my best buds live in. But my Human would say that they are stupid just because they live in a town called Larry, or something like that. I lost interest when she was trying to explain it to me.)

Please realize that when my Human was a Freshpup at the striped C-A-T school, the football team lost all but 1 game. They were really bad for a really long time.

I have a feeling my Human is going to be unbearable for at least 1 more week, and possibly for another month and a half!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Life With Lex

You all know that Lex is stupid, but you may not know all of the reasons. He is stupid because he thinks he can just go up to my Human and get attention whenever he wants it. He is also stupid because he doesn't like to play husky games. Yes, he is half Husky, but he is also half Akita. He is less social than the rest of us. Sometimes when my Human sticks me in the box or I'm outside, Roo Roo will try to get Lex to play with her, but he just whines about it.

Lex likes a fine whine!

You know what else? Humans are stupid, too. Because they like the way Lex looks! They think he is soooooooooooo gorgeous with his stupid cream colored fur!

I won't say that Lex is good for nothing, however. He is very good at catching stupid no-possums during the night!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Were You Ready For Some Football?


The Huskies lost to Bearcats and Beavers. What is a bearcat? Is it a bear or a cat?

And the Huskies won over Crimson Hawks, Oilers, Flying Dutchmen, and Golden Flashes.

Heh! "Golden Flash" sounds like the name of a superhero that runs and pees!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Not An Atypical Night & Day


Rough housed.

Went to sleep.

Woke up.

Went to sleep.

Woke up.

Went to sleep.

Woke up.

Went outside to pee and poop.

Lex captured a stupid no-possum.

My Human threw the stupid no-possum over the fence.

Went inside.

Went to sleep.

Woke up.

Went outside to pee.

Came inside.

Helped my Human prepare her breakfast.

Didn't get to eat any of my Human's breakfast.

4 of us (me, Meepie, Roo Roo, and Fargo) stayed nearby while my Human cleaned herself for work.

Went outside to pee.

Came inside.

Got treats inside my box.

Went to sleep.

Waited for my Human to return from work.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

The Roo Roo Experience


Roo Roo told me that I should talk about what it's like living with each of them. Well, actually she said that I should talk about how lucky I am to live with her. But I decided from time to time to talk about each of them.

Rooie was supposed to be a temporary visitor at our house. My Human was supposed to find a permanent home for her (other than ours). But Rooie fit in so well that my Human quickly decided to be a "foster failure club" member.

Roo was found running around on a college campus north of where we live. She eventually made her way to our house, but she was so scared on the car right after my Human picked her up. But shortly after she met us she decided she was home. She quickly discovered where my Human's bed was and hopped right on it.

Her name is actually Aurora Borealis because we saw them during her first night at our house.

Roo Roo loves sweets. And she loves acting all cutesy and affectionate to humans so she can have some.

She also loves chewing up blankets, comforters, quilts, sheets, sweatshirts, etc.

She is a good friend, but she is bossy. She likes wrestling, so she's a lot of fun.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Dona Nobis Pacem


This is a repeat of my 06/06/07 blog entry. Charlie the Big Dog (aka C$) said we should Dona Nobis Pacem today, so here it is. I am using the Peace Globe that his SHD created because I liked its looks!

Since the Forest Dogs sent me the invitation to participate in Peace Globe Day I have been thinking about what to write. What is peace? Is it a lack of violence? Is it a globe without conflict? Is it silence? Is it stupid?

I'm in favor of peace and I'm in favor of security. It would be nice to have both.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007



It was a bad morning. First of all, my Human let Meepie get up on the bed to snuggle. EXCUSE ME?! I was there first. I just say no to Meepie being on the bed, but my Human allowed it.

Then we all went outside. Then that stupid Lex came inside and got alone time with my Human. That is simply wrong! He is stupid!

So when I came back inside I let Lex know how wrong and stupid he was. Then my Human put me in my box and closed the door to the room.

I have no confirmation of this, but I'm pretty sure that my Human then made a breakfast of buttermilk pancakes, sausage, and eggs that she shared with all of the other dogs.

By the time I was released from my box all of the breakfast was gone! Therefore, I have to assume I was correct about the injustice.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Another Football Wrap Up


No Husky teams lost this weekend. But 3 of the 7 did not play.

Here's who Huskies beat this weekend, Scarlet Knights, Wolves, Cardinal (the color, not the stupid bird!), and Wildcats.

The University of Saskatchewan is finished for the season.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Questions Not Asked


Tonight I'm going to answer a question that I've not been asked.

Q: What are the 2 the stupidest things your Human has done that impacted you?

A: Thank you for that well thought out question. One night she forgot to feed us. She realized we hadn't been fed the next day when she emptied the dishwasher and found our bowls in it. She knew she hadn't washed the dishes the night before!

Then another night, she sort of woke up and let us go outside. Lex came back inside and my Human closed the door with the rest of us outside and went back to sleep. When she woke up that morning, she was surprised that Lex was the only dog inside!