First of all, thank you for letting me have some of the crusts from your sandwich this morning. I don't know if you noticed, but I repayed you by peeing on your bathtub.
*Sigh.* Yes, I noticed. You're welcome.
So, what's so great about the stupid striped Khats of Ol' Mizzou?
When I was a Freshman at the University of Missouri, they won only 1 football game. This was back in 1985. Since I first attended Mizzou, the football team's record is 108 wins, 151 losses, and 4 ties. And now they are #1. They've won 11 games and lost just 1 this year (so far). [Click here for the team's football records since 1985.]
It took them 22 years.
Yes. Mizzou sports teams have lost many games in weird and heartbreaking ways. Because of this, when non-fans mock the fact Mizzou is #1, it doesn't have as much effect as it might on other schools' fans. Missouri fans are used to failure and disappointment. The success this year is a new and novel experience.
I understand that it is your fault that Mizzou lost their bowl game last year. Please explain.
I said with about 6 minutes remaining in the 4th quarter, "I don't think even Missouri can blow this lead." Because of that, I don't consider that a game is won until a few minutes after then game is officially over.
Why do you wear that same stupid Missouri Tigers shirt every Friday now?
Because the 1 Friday I wore my Mizzou polo shirt they lost to Oklahoma--their only loss. I'm not taking any chances.
I've heard that if you feed me livergreat that the Mizzou Tigers will win.
Well, I haven't heard that, but since you brought it up I should probably do it to be on the safe side.
Why don't you go to see the football games in person?
I've never seen the team win a game in person. When I was a freshman, I was in Marching Mizzou. They didn't win any games that the band attended that year. I'm not taking any chances.
The word is "superstitious."
I know. I was making a point.
Why are you putting pictures of yourself on this blog entry rather than anything to do with Mizzou?
Because no one cares about your stupid team. My readers come here to read about me. I'm just humoring you by letting you talk about your obsession.