TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Turbo Tax Explained


I have been questioned by a certain human belonging to my good friend Benson J. Puppypaws.

Let me make one thing clear: Taxes are stupid.

But, unfortunately, the human run government has make taxes necessary to fund all their programs.

I understand the psychology of humans. You'll notice my picture on the TurboTax box. Humans are more willing to buy a product if it has a cute dog on the box. Although I am not yet in Congress, I've decided to put my own tax product on the market. When a human choses to buy this product, the money goes directly to the animals. Here is my own tax plan:

1. Humans will no longer be paying the human government money.

2. Humans will be giving their money to their dogs, cats, goats, birds, etc.

3. These now well-funded animals will be in charge of dispersal of funds to programs that they feel are more important than the ones the humans have long felt were important.

Remember, humans, be kind to the animals. One day soon, we will be in charge.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Domestic Success!


Tonight I was able to nab a 1/4 stick of butter from the kitchen! My Human was cooking supper and she left it out on the countertop. She left the kitchen. I sprung to action and got the butter. I took it to her bed and started consuming it there. When she tried to get it back from me, I ran to my box and finished it off there.

My new motto is "Liberty and butter for all!"