Thor's Questions

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1. Turbo, will there be an anti-plucking law passed if you are elected? Many pups, during coat blowing season, are followed about by their humans, who constantly pluck at loose tufts of fur. This is quite irritating to many of your constituents.

Under my administration, fluffy dogs will be declared a pluck free zone. It is our right to leave our fur where we choose. Not the right of the humans to take it.

2. Livergreat. The humans need to know, in no uncertain terms, your stand on livergreat. Are you for or against?

I am definitely pro-livergreat. I am for livergreat liberation; allowing all dogs to consume livergreat if they are so inclined.

3. Do you support the notion that if a human gives a dog a bath, the dog has the right to return the favor and bathe the human?

In my house, this is exactly how it is done. My Human has no expectation that she will remain dry. Many humans suffer from the delusion that it is they who control distribution of water at bath time. This is simply not the case. Dogs should throw the water off their bodies with a healthy shake, shake, shake!

4. How do you feel about the segregation between dogs and cats? Should they be forcibly integrated, and if so, why?

I am against anything that is "forced." I am against heavy pawed government interference in the home. There are some cats out there who can, and do, live happily and comfortably with their canine room mates. But there are others who, sadly, may not survive the experience. I would rather have a dog and a cat choose to live separately than have one die and the other one in trouble.

5. Cuz toys. Should we all have them? Why or why not?

I love my Cuz. But I hate when Roo Roo takes it. I know from experience that even in a house with more than 1 to 1 Cuz to dog ratio, there will still be a Cuzless dog. It is a sad situation, but it is not the government’s responsibility to provide more Cuzes. It is the humans’ responsibility to ensure domestic tranquility by being a Cuz monitor.

6. Queen and king-sized beds. Is there a law requiring us to share these things with the humans?

I am for humans having beds large enough to meet the needs of their dogs. The problem with humans is that they feel entitled to beds because they have paid for them. I am in favor of dogs being able to sleep wherever they choose, and we, as dogs, can choose where our humans should sleep. This works at my house, so it should work elsewhere.

Economic Stimulus Plan

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As the currency of the United States is becoming less valuable, the prices of important things like Cuzzes goes up. As a candidate for the Presidency, I am developing a plan to stimulate the economy. I will be eliminating taxes. Yes, no more income tax, sales tax, or any type of tax or tacks.

But how will I be funding the government? Well, big government is stupid. I am for making it small. There are few things that the government does successfully.

I do know, however, that there are still needs for government funding. And I do have a three part plan to raise money.

1. As I outlined in my blog entry from June 30, 2007, humans are willing to part with their money willingly if you send them an email. It helps, of course to include a cute picture and to be polite.

2. Humans are not only stupid, but gullible. They are more than willing to part with their money if you tell them that they will be better off (less stupid) if they were to give their money to someone else. You can read more about this aspect of my plan in my August 5, 2007 blog entry.

3. This is my new idea. I have seen commercials on television for companies that encourage humans to mail them their gold, silver, and platinum which the company will exchange for cash. As I've mentioned, humans are stupid and gullible. We will have them send us their gold and we can send them a picture of a cute puppy. Puppy pictures are definitely worth their weight in gold.

The real beauty of my economic plans is that they are completely voluntary! To paraphrase what P.T. Barnum once said, "No one's ever gone broke underestimating the intelligence of humans."

Startling News

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My dear friend Ivy reported to me this morning that 3 someones had reached her blog by searching for the terms below on some search engine:



I don't mind telling you one little bit that I don't like this at all!

I thought maybe I'd like it better if some animals spelled it out for me:



But I didn't like that either! Maybe if Santa helped out. Afterall, I like getting gifts:



But I didn't like that at all! I am a brave Tube Wolf, however. And your Presidential Candidate will not stand down in the face of threats! Apparently someone, or someones do not like the Turbo message.

Obviously he, she, or they are stupid!

Turbo Cuts Off 'Stupid' CBS Interview

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NEW YORK (Dog Press) - Presidential candidate Huricane Akara Turbofire abruptly ended a "60 Minutes" interview aimed at introducing him to U.S. audiences, dubbing it "stupid" and a "big mistake" and refusing to answer questions about human celebrities.

Before the CBS news show interview even began, Turbo called his press secretary "an imbecile" for arranging the session on a busy day.

"I don't have the time. I have a big job to do, I have a schedule," Turbo woo'ed through a translator before the interview began. In English, he added: "Very busy. Very busy."

In the interview conducted earlier this month and aired Sunday night, he candidly discussed what he likes. But he grew frustrated when asked about his opinions on subjects like Britney Spears.

"If I had to say something about Ms. Spears, I would certainly not do so here," Turbo replied.

Before he broke off the interview, Turbo was asked about what he would like the American humans to know about him. "I want the humans to know that they can count on me," he said.

Turbo said he admired some humans' work ethic and the opportunities for advancement in the country, irrespective of class or background. But that there was still discrimination against non-humans.

On Top Of Things

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It is a good idea for all dogs to be on top of things. I say this not only as a candidate for President, but also as a canine.

On the Campaign Trail

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As a Presidential Candidate, I have to go to several events to meet the public. Yesterday I went to the Columbia Second Chance dog wash and allowed members of a Boy Scout Explorer troop to give me a good wash:


I wasn't thrilled, but I cooperated:




They finally finished, but it took me a moment to regain my composure:


Here I am looking heroic, albeit still wet:


In this picture I'm advising my chauffeur were to go next:


Humans like it when candidates stop by their store and make purchases. My Human got me a white Good Cuz and some treats. Because I'm so benevolent I had her buy 6 Jurassic Barks so I could share. Jurassic Barks are a treat that is chicken liver flavored. They are very good.


I allowed my Human to bring home a pizza for herself:


At home, I helped unpack the purchases:


I decided to let the others share my new and old Cuzes. Wisely Fargo and Niki declined the offer, but Roo Roo, Meepie, and Lex were stupid and played with them.

Campaign Update

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I just wanted everyone to know that so far I've raised $65,753,431,875.11 to help me with my bid to become the president of dogcountry! Thanks for the support everyone!

Also, my Human was trying to get a picture of me on Saturday to post for my mask comparison. Roo Roo kept sticking her nose in. See below:

What is Good Turbo Weather?

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Yesterday I noticed that someone got to my site by searching for what is good turbo weather. I've never specifically answered that question, so I thought I should address this. (All candidates should answer questions that they are asked.)

1. Cold
2. More cold
3. Snow
4. More snow
5. Cold snow
6. More cold snow
7. Snow that is cold
8. More snow that is cold

I hope I cleared this up. By the way, it's currently about 9 degrees Fahrenheit (or 260.3722222 kelvin or -12.7777778 degree Celsius).