Read My Lips!

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As I've said previously, I will eliminate taxes in my term as your President.

Thor's Questions

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1. Turbo, will there be an anti-plucking law passed if you are elected? Many pups, during coat blowing season, are followed about by their humans, who constantly pluck at loose tufts of fur. This is quite irritating to many of your constituents.

Under my administration, fluffy dogs will be declared a pluck free zone. It is our right to leave our fur where we choose. Not the right of the humans to take it.

2. Livergreat. The humans need to know, in no uncertain terms, your stand on livergreat. Are you for or against?

I am definitely pro-livergreat. I am for livergreat liberation; allowing all dogs to consume livergreat if they are so inclined.

3. Do you support the notion that if a human gives a dog a bath, the dog has the right to return the favor and bathe the human?

In my house, this is exactly how it is done. My Human has no expectation that she will remain dry. Many humans suffer from the delusion that it is they who control distribution of water at bath time. This is simply not the case. Dogs should throw the water off their bodies with a healthy shake, shake, shake!

4. How do you feel about the segregation between dogs and cats? Should they be forcibly integrated, and if so, why?

I am against anything that is "forced." I am against heavy pawed government interference in the home. There are some cats out there who can, and do, live happily and comfortably with their canine room mates. But there are others who, sadly, may not survive the experience. I would rather have a dog and a cat choose to live separately than have one die and the other one in trouble.

5. Cuz toys. Should we all have them? Why or why not?

I love my Cuz. But I hate when Roo Roo takes it. I know from experience that even in a house with more than 1 to 1 Cuz to dog ratio, there will still be a Cuzless dog. It is a sad situation, but it is not the government’s responsibility to provide more Cuzes. It is the humans’ responsibility to ensure domestic tranquility by being a Cuz monitor.

6. Queen and king-sized beds. Is there a law requiring us to share these things with the humans?

I am for humans having beds large enough to meet the needs of their dogs. The problem with humans is that they feel entitled to beds because they have paid for them. I am in favor of dogs being able to sleep wherever they choose, and we, as dogs, can choose where our humans should sleep. This works at my house, so it should work elsewhere.