Rooie Says

woo!

My room mate, Aurora "Roo Roo" Borealis agreed to answer my query of what she thinks the most stupid thing about Humans is. She would only do this if I showed you some pictures of her. She didn't want anyone to forget how hot she is.

Anywoo, here is her #1 reason that humans are stupid:

Because English speaking humans have co-opted the word "bitch" to be a negative insult of female humans.

St. Louis Question

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If you should ever encounter a human from St. Louis, do not be alarmed if he or she asks you which high school you went to. This is the single most important question for every native of St. Louis, Missouri. It does not matter what you are doing in your life at that point, you will still be asked about your high school. You could be professor, a doctor, a Siberian Husky, or even a presidential candidate. None of that matters to a St. Louisan. Nope. The only thing that matters is your high school.

I will answer this question. I attended Ann Gafke's Teacher's Pet in Columbia, MO.

When my Human** went to Mizzou, she encountered many St. Louisans. One of the most stereotypical was one who would also ask questions like, "So, how much did your father make last year?"

Another thing about St. Louisans is that where my Human would pronounce the word "fort" and "fart" differently, a human from St. Louis would pronounce them both as "fart." So, "fark" = "fork;" "shart" = "short;" etc.

But a "woo" is still a "woo" world wide.

**Please note that my Human has her own peculiarities. She is essentially an educated hillbilly from the north Ozarks.

I Am A Son Of A Bitch

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A few days ago I talked about the stupid human defaming dogs. I promised then that I'd discuss humans making a mockery of all of our canine mothers and sisters.

Webster's first definition of bitch is:

the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

That's fine and accurate. My mother was a bitch by the name of Akara's Fifth Avenue Huricane.

Webster's also includes these definitions:

2 a : a lewd or immoral woman b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman -- sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3 : something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4 : COMPLAINT

Humans are so stupid with their language skills that they have to insult us! I'll never understand them! You don't hear the canines of the world insulting each other by calling each other "son of a human," now do you?!

I make a motion that we rise about the humans and take back the meaning of the word "bitch" for ourselves!!!!

I'm ending this post with a picture of Niki, the sweet old bitch in our house.

Things I Have Going For Me

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1. It snowed last night.

2. I didn't call any of my political opponents "clean."

3. I didn't place weird marketing devices in a city that then caused mass concern.

Bye Bye Famous Barr

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Way back a long time ago (today), there used to be a chain of department stores in the St Louis, MO area called Famous Barr. Of course the St Louisans call it "Famous and Barr," but they're always saying stupid things like "fark" for "fork" and "sharts" for "shorts." And when they aren't saying that, they're always asking what high school you went to. (And if you don't believe me, ask my Human's friend Large Oh.)

Well, Famous Barr and a bunch of other stores like Marshall Fields (Chicago), are becoming Macy's. (Stupid humans always subsuming things!!!) I don't know anything really about Macy's, but I hate balloons!!! Does this mean that we will all have to change our names to "Macy's?" Or maybe "Wal-mart?"

I've never been in our local Famous Barr. My Human refuses to claim that I'm a service dog!

Pussyfoot

My Human has a degree in linguistics & English. So she gets curious about stupid words. She made her stupid friend, Large Oh, research the meaning of the word "pussyfoot." Large Oh has a lot of free time currently because she no longer works at the circus.

Anyway...

Teddy Roosevelt seems to have either coined or popularized pussyfoot in about 1905. Meaning crafty, cunning, or moving in a cautious manner, it refers to the way cats can walk stealthily by drawing in their claws and walking on the pads of their feet. It's very unlikely that the redoubtable William Eugene "Pussy-foot" Johnson, a crusading American do-gooder, has anything to do with the expression. Johnson was nicknamed "Pussyfoot" because "of his catlike policies in pursuing lawbreakers" when he served as chief special officer in the Indian Territory. Later his nickname, in the form of pussyfooters, was applied to all advocates of Prohibition., While crusading in England, fresh from his triumph of securing the passing of Prohibition in the U.S., Johnson was blinded by a stone thrown by a crusading drunk.

Human Language Is Still Stupid

Humans sometimes eat things such as pancakes, French toast, and waffles. Sometimes they pour syrup on their food. Sometimes that syrup is fake maple flavored. Sometimes the syrup is called "butter flavored." You'd think that the syrup would taste like butter because of the name, but no. It still tastes like fake maple syrup.

And sometimes humans go to a building and watch movies on a screen on the wall. They sometimes get popcorn to munch on. And sometimes that popcorn has a gooey liquid poured onto it that is "butter flavoring." It does not taste like fake maple syrup. It's taste is reminiscent of butter.

So, my words of advice today is to beware of liquidy "butter flavor." It could be fake maple syrup or fake butter.

Some Siberian Huskies have formed a Butter Club. They even have a constitution. They know the difference!

Stupid Human Language

Why is the word "upholstery" not pronounced "UH-FOLSTERY?"

Balance

I am really liking the new sofas or couches or what ever the stupid humans are calling them. The photo on the left is me on the old sofa-couch. You will notice that I'm not on the back of it. I like being on the back of the sofa-couch because its just about the highest point in the house. When I'm up there I have a clear vantage point to see everyone and everythin. And my voice really carries when I am yelling and telling everyone that they are stupid.

In this photo on the right, I am on the back of the new sofa-couch. I'm a happy Tubey here. I'm staring at my Human's cell phone. I'm just waiting for it make that stupid noise. Humans are easily conditioned to do certain activities when they hear specific sounds. I'd imagine that all of your humans have some sort of stupid phone that they like to spend time on blah-blah-blahing about all sorts of stupid stuff. I know that my Human spends time on hers talking far too much. A lot of the time she's talking to her stupid friend LargeOh who sometimes posts comments on this blog.

Niki & Aurora

Niki & Aurora were wondering why humans think it's an insult to call each other "bitches."

Human Language is Stupid

I saw a headline on line that said "Huskies have some holes to fill." Of course this sparked my interest. Unfortunately it was one of those websites that humans have where you have to register to read the story. From what I could see of the article, they mentioned a "mating dance." Sounds intriguing!

Humans like to use the word "husky" to describe things that are not about us:

resembling, containing, or full of husks

hoarse with or as if with emotion

burly, robust, large

Why do humans waste some much breath with all their syllables when any husky can tell them that all they need is a simple "woooo?"

Niki wanted me to share her latest haiku:

Woowooo woo wooo woo
Woooo woo'ooo woowoo ooo woo
Woo woo woo woo woooo

I think her eloquence speaks for itself.

Treats!

My Human went to a store and bought some treats that I actually like. She's brought home 2 different types. The first is pictured on both sides of this paragraph. They are a delicious beef chew stick. I generally don't like things like this, but it is wonderful!

She also purchased some biscuits. Again, I usually hate hard biscuits, but these taste fantastic! My Human has made the comment that they smell something like a Chips Ahoy cookie. Meepie read the fine print on the bag and said that they met his standard of excellence. These biscuits come in various flavors and you can buy them in different sizes as well.

On Friday night my Human couldn't figure out what Aurora was obsessed with. She didn't know that one of these delicious beef sticks fell down underneath the end table in the living room. Poor Roo Roo had to wait 2 days for my Human to more the table. She tried to tell the Human, but she just couldn't get her to understand! Humans need to get a better grasp on language.

Fargo North Dogkota, CGC

Fargo is my best friend. He went to school and became a "Canine Good Citizen." He is also fluent in that weird human language that they are always squalking in.

(Fargo here. I have to interrupt this blog to point out that I like Tubey, but he doesn't always know when to quit. Take that whole Lex thing. We've all told Tubey that he needs to knock it off. He's annoying not only Lex, but all of us. And about him wanting to be an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist: I'm not quite the willing patient as he would lead you to believe.)