Apparently you cannot get elected President without doing negative campaigning. I have learned this about the human candidates:
They will take your money away from you and give it to corporations. They will kill all babies. They are just like previous Presidents. They are too old. They are too inexperienced. They flip flop. They never show up for work. They show up at work and don't do their job. They will begin unnecessary wars. They will make unecessary concessions to enemies.
To summarize, they are all humans.
So, I decided to introduce my negative ad: