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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

CSI: Turbo

We have a mystery on our paws! Someone chewed through my show lead yesterday. Sure, I don't need it because I'm not a show dog, but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT! Before my Human went to her job yesterday, I was escorted to my box to spend a few hours. When she returned at lunch time, my lead was in tatters. I couldn't see who had destroyed my property. I know that I didn't do it, so now I have to deduce who it was. Everyone is a suspect at this time.

D. Animal: I don't think that the stupid vacuum did it for a couple reasons. 1) It was in the same room as me and never left, & 2) It's more into scheming and cleaning up all traces of evidence than destruction.

My Human: She seemed surprised that it was chewed up when she got home. Might have been an act, but I don't think she did it. Her teeth are rather dull.

Lex: He is always stupid and therefore always a suspect. But he's been spending a lot of time in my Human's bedroom moping. The lead was in the livingroom. I hate to admit it, but I don't think he did it.

Aurora: I am eliminating her from the pool of suspects. She was in her box next to me at the time of the crime.

Niki: It's possible, but I've never seen her destroy anything. She loses interest before something is completely trashed.

That leaves us with 2 prime suspects. Both of whom have been known to destroy items.

Misha: He has a history of wanton destruction. He has been seen happily destroying books, toys, and many, many other things.

Fargo: The key evidence that I have against him is that a few months ago he ate a small leather leash. When my Human came home from work that day, she discovered that only the buckle remained. She knew it was Fargo when the very next day this same leash came out of Fargo in several small pieces.

I don't have enough evidence at this time for a search warrant, but I am pretty sure it was Fargo who did it. I'll be keeping my eyes and ears open.


IndyPindy said...

Hmmmm...maybe Fargo needs more fiber in his diet!

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

You would think that with all the husky hair in our house that he'd have more than enough fiber!

Ender said...

I smell conspiracy! With all those other dogs in the house you think there would be plenty of them to blame! And we all know you so desperately want to blame d. animal. Good thing you are using the process of elimination (and no I don’t mean that you should pee on them!) to figure out the true criminal! Since I am the only child…when some thing goes wrong my parents think that I automatically did it.

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Well, I try to be fair. Afterall, I don't want to be accused of being stupid!

Shmoo said...

You need a Loki. Loki is to blame for everything (except when Loki gets hurt, then its my fault for some reason). Sink stopper in the middle of the living room floor: Loki.
Mail ripped up that use to be on the desk: Loki.
Someone peed on the human bed: Sam... ok, Sam pees everywhere, all because of Nova, who peed everywhere, and apparently Sam thinks that's his job now.

I'll send you Loki so you can blame him... really I don't mind... no, really, you can have him.


H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Hmmmn...I think that Loki'd probably be in the Lex-D. Animal conspiracy!