TURBO NEWS NETWORK: Take time to stop and smell the bacon . . . . . . . . .

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Oposssums are Stupid!!!

You know what? Opossums are stupid! First of all, why do there names begin with the letter "O?" They aren't Irish. They don't need that letter. It doesn't do anything. We're not called Osiberian ohuskies. So, from now on I'm calling them no-possums.

Second of all, what do they do? They are either dead or pretending like they're dead.

Third, they don't talk to us. They just hiss. My Human has a friend who once called the cops because a no-possum looked at her.

Fourth, they smell bad. And I don't think that they smell bad in that good way.

I could go on, but it's not worth it to me. I will say that Saturday morning Lex caught a stupid no-possum. It's no longer going to pretend that it's dead!

Meepie kind of looks like a no-possum.


Woofwoof said...

Yes but they are delicious. I've caught three so far. Usually they sit on the 8-foot fence and hiss at me. I'll howl right back and when I get tired of playing vocal games, I jump up and swat them down. They are more fun than the Kong stick.

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Lex is good at catching the no-possums. He once brought one into the house at 4:30am as a surprise for our Human.

She didn't seem to appreciate the kiss that Lex gave her.

No-possums don't seem to be very good for playing tug-of-war, though.

Sapphireblue said...

I volunteer at a wildlife rehab, and while I was NOT fond of possums at all before (found one in my house once, no idea how it got there but it pooped on the windowsill as something we could remember it after we'd kicked it out), I have to say that the babies, once they get all their fur in, are INCREDIBLY adorable. I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but just look at the picture on this page. CUTE!

Since getting to love possums (at least ones less than six inches long), I have taken to calling my Tashi husky "my possum-faced dog." There really IS something possummy about huskies, especially (I think) the females, whose more delicate facial features mimic the pointy narrowness of a possum face.

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

They are cute in that picture. At least now I know that I'm not the only one that sees the husky/no-possum similarities.

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

You sound a lot like a human I know.