Khyra's Inspiring Speech

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I'm sure you were all inspired by the words of my running mate, Khyra.



Here's a behind the scenes photo of the news coverage of this historic event:

Convention Center & Hey NorthernBreedsLover!

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First of all, I thought you'd be interested in what the building looked like where we are having the Sibertarian Pawty Khonvention. Here it is, the world famous Cheese Arena in Arena, Wisconsin:



You might think that there were fountains in front of the Khonvention Center, but there were actually Siberian huskies in there playing.

And finally, a message from my Human to a fan:

Conventional Wisdom

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The Sibertarian Pawty will be holding our political convention this upcoming week. Our philosophy is to not be irritating, so we will not be interrupting your television programming. And of course our speeches will be short. And we will have cheese & bacon!

Woo!

Campaign Signs

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You may have already started to see our new khampaign signs around your cities.





I thought I'd share with you a speech I gave at a Labor Day rally:

Thank each and every one of woo for inviting me to your festivities. Now let's each some cheese and bacon!

Jealous?

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Is Mr. McCain jealous that I've picked Khyra as my running mate? First I named a female Siberian husky to be my VP. Now he has named a female Alaskan as his!

Don't fall for this human trick. Neither Mr. McCain or Ms. Palin are canines!

I am the lead dog and the view for my human competitors for President will never change!

Stupid Regulation

My Human has XM satellite radio. Her favorite station is called Fred. It plays alternative rock from the 1970's & 1980's. She has a lot of the songs they play in her collection, but yet she listens to a station that plays those same songs.

For the next few days, Fred is playing 2044 of the so-called greatest (or whatever) songs of this genre. So my human is listening to a lot of Squeeze, Joe Jackson, Elvis Costello, O.M.D., etc etc etc...

The "announcer" on Fred states that there is some stupid regulation that will not allow a satelite radio station to post a list of their count down songs.

Why the poop is this a regulation? How many human dollars does this regulation cost to enforce? How many humans are in charge of monitoring this stupid regulation?

Humans are so stupid!

Running Mate

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Schmorals

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I don't think so.

Undignified, Spitz, Pease

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Okay, first of all I don't think that any of the human Presidential candidates are ever grabbed, tossed in a bathtub, had shampoo rubbed all over then, and then sprayed off. I finally got a good stink on right before my stupid Human decided that I needed a bath.

Hey! Congratulations to that Michael Phelps guy for winning 8 gold medals in swimming events at the human Olympics. Humans don't have much to be proud about, so many humans are rejoicing at this feat.

When my Human was really young (like in the single digit years), a human by the name of Mark Spitz won 7 gold medals swimming. During that summer (like several summers, actually), my Human was enrolled in swimming classes. The coach of her town's swim team was a human whose last name was Pease. My Human said that this joke was told a lot that summer around the swimming pool:

Mark Spitz while Coach Pease.

Yeah. Like I said above, humans don't have much to be proud about.

Licenses

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Where I live, dogs do not need a license to be a dog. But they do inside of Columbia and in many, many cities across this great country and even world of ours. When I am President, dogs and even cats will no longer need a license to exist.

Humans have come up with the concept of licenses as yet another ploy to trick other humans into paying taxes.

Taxes are stupid. The government of the humans keeps creating more and more taxes to pay for more and more stupid things. The human government creates departments and bureaus to create taxes and then use tax dollars to pay for those departments and bureaus.

I have heard from my Human that the human government actually dictates what type of posters are required to be on the walls of businesses. I asked my Human who reads these posters. She said that no one does, other than her corporate auditors who visit occasionally to check on things.

One of my favorite human government programs is the so-called "Paperwork Reduction Act." My Human said that in the course of her job, she will get a multipaged document from the human government with one sheet of paper inserted with the something like the following printed on it:

Hey Humans! Look at us! We are telling you on this sheet of paper that the government really, really cares about you. Because we are caring, we are have calculated that it should take you 30 minutes to read everything on this form and only 15 minutes to fill it out. YMMV.

Georgia (Still) On My Mind

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My cousin Sitka & niece Cornelia Marie live in an exciting state. I saw these 2 headlines today:

Georgia Men Claim Hairy, Frozen Corpse Is Bigfoot

and

Georgia Leader Signs Truce, But Will Russia Leave?

Georgia

You can imagine my distress when I learned that Florida had invaded Georgia, the state where my cousin (Sitka) and niece (Cornelia Marie) live. My Human even has ties to Georgia because she attended Bulldog University back in the early 90's. I'd heard that some cities next to Florida had decided that they hated Georgia and wanted to be a part of Florida. The Georgia government humans told those unhappy Georgia humans that they couldn't leave the state. Then the Florida humans told the unhappy Georgians that they could be Floridians. That ticked of the Georgia Georgians and then things got really stupid. Fortunately Sitka & Cornelia Marie are fine and no where near Florida.

Obviously, I had to make a formal statement on this situation. After careful thought and consultation with my advisers, I issued this statement.

Hey! Stop being stupid!

Oh yeah, I heard that some Russian guy was causing problems in some European country. I have a message for him too:

Вы должны остановить и не быть тупоумны.

Conditioning Humans

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My Human was exasperating today...twice! She put her shoes on twice today and then did not go outside and open up the gate to the bigger field. We've worked with her on her training and her behavior, but she still isn't being consistent.

Let's face it, humans just aren't as smart as dogs. We are watching a dogumentary called Dog Genius. The human narrator was discussing that chimps can't figure out what humans mean when they point at something and that dogs can figure it out 90% of the time. We all know that the 10% time that dogs can't figure it out are when humans are giving mixed signals.

The human narrator referred to humans as dogs' research subjects. This is certainly true. We study humans whenever they are present.

Stupid Weather Forecasting, Again

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We were watching TV last night. We have Dish Network, and we can press a button and get our local weather. Last night this was our forecast:



Yep. 62°F and Light Freezing Rain.

Humans are stupid!

Stupid Heat

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I hate hot weather. I'm sure you all know that when I'm President that I will be banning it.

We've also had a lot of stupid rain and stupid storms. But our local ABC affiliate is very stupid. During their weather segment this week they had a graphic similar to this:



I guess they were expecting an influx of dead South Carolina Senators in our area, but I didn't see any. Just rain and lightning and thunder.

A day or so later, this same TV station was talking about sports and how some baseball player hit a doubel. Apparently, that is very rare!

I apologize for being really far behind on visiting your blogs. I'm going to blame it on my Human.

To make it up to you, I will close with a picture of me:

Farewell Kelsey Ann & Timber

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We are wooing sadly for 2 friends who have crossed the rainbow bridge this week; Kelsey Ann, a Siberian Husky & Timber, an Alaskan Husky. We know that they will be missed on this planet, but are having fun with all the other dogs who are running around on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

I'll close with a quick update about me. Charlie, the Big Dog has asked my help with a project involving a human who is enamored with him. I also will post soon a little something about a stupidity I saw on TV.

My Niece

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My niece Cornelia Marie is now living with my cousin Sitka in Georgia. She is really a chip of the old Tubey. Not only does she look like me, but she yells at things that are stupid, too. I've heard that her humans call her "Tubette."

Below is a picture of Cornelia Marie (on the left) and me as Turbo Puppy (on the right). I bet you didn't know that I've mastered the art of time travel.



In other news, my Human got me a new laptop. It's faster than the old stupid computer.

And in more other news, my Human has a stupid itchy rash all over her body.

Turbo Promise & More Stupid Human News

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I promise that I will not interupt your TV shows with my political advertisements.



And now for the real stupid news story from my home state:

JEFFERSON CITY, MO -- The police valor medals were in place, the furniture in the governor's Capitol office was rearranged and the reporters were assembled. But there was a suspicious void at the front of the room.

The four police officers being honored for their composure while facing personal danger weren't there. No one had told them about Wednesday's ceremony.

Missouri Public Safety Director Mark James apologized for the goof and announced after about 15 minutes that the event was canceled.

A spokeswoman for Gov. Matt Blunt said he used the sudden free time for a meeting. The police officers will get their medals at a later date.

(Copyright ©2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Human Bureaucracy Is Stupid

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I read an article about a New OrleansPolice Officer who was suspended for wearing the wrong shirt 15 minutes before his retirement.
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Fun At Home

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We had a lot of fun at home this evening. Here's a picture of 4 of us.



Maybe you were wondering where Misha was. He was playing hide & Meep:



Roo Roo is a lot of fun to chase:



Meepie and Fargo looked for something:



Then Lex and Fargo looked for something else:



Rooie ran towards the camera:



I ran away from the camera:



I ended my romp with a quick trip to the pool:

Position Explanation

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I wanted to clarify my position on stupidity.

New Ad & Stupid Human Legislation & Vet Update

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The stupid humans in the U.S. Senate created his nifty bit of legislation. Apparently this is what tax dollars go to. (It will be far different when I'm in charge!)

S.RES.440
Title: A resolution recognizing soil as an essential natural resource, and soils professionals as playing a critical role in managing our Nation's soil resources.
Sponsor: Sen Brown, Sherrod [OH] (introduced 1/31/2008) Cosponsors (6)
Latest Major Action: 6/23/2008 Passed/agreed to in Senate. Status: Resolution agreed to in Senate without amendment and with a preamble by Unanimous Consent.

Let's hear it for dirt!

I went to see Dr. Debbie yesterday. I am in perfect health, except for my stupid seizures. I weighed in at 52.6 pounds. When I got to the office, I immediately grabbed and shook a stuffed Clydesdale horse, just to keep it in line! Dr. Debbie does not feel that it's time yet for me to be on seizure meds, so we'll continue to monitor that.

I Like Judge Judy

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I like watching Judge Judy because she yells at humans and tells them they are stupid.

She said on an episode I saw yesterday:

Dogs aren't stupid. They do what they do. People are stupid!

Candidate Turbo Chastises Media

H.A. Turbofire Chastises Media

By June Hood of the Times’ staff

Published Thursday, July 3, 2008

Within 24 hours, almost 400,000 people had tuned in to Huricane Akara Turbofire as he snapped at the staff of a TV network before explaining how he intended to save the country from a stupidity implosion during his presidency.

Clearly ruffled after just driving past staff protesting his plan to end stupidity, Dr. Turbofire hit out at a technician who failed to reply when he said "hello" when placing his microphone.

"It's a matter of upbringing," he told the man. "When you're a guest you have the right to expect a hello... Or we're not in the public service here, we are at a demonstration ... incredible... and serious."

"That's going to change," he added menacingly.

He then turned to one of the interviewers, Gerry Clerk, asking him "How long did you spend in Siberia?" – apparently referring to the journalist not having been given an on-camera role for a while.

Full of nervous ticks, the impatient canine tapped his fingers and played with his Patek Philippe watch – a present from his an admirer – asking whether the studio clock is working.

The unedited pictures of Dr. Turbofire were clearly released by irate network staff, although they denied this.

Later during Monday's broadcast interview, Dr. Turbofire laid into human television accusing it of not helping to eradicate stupidity.

One of two presenters in the studio who had signed a vociferous petition against his reforms hit back that such programs already existed.

Dr. Turbofire, whose popularity has been increasing for months, is said to have gain a lot of support after a video was posted on the internet in which he insulted a chicken during an agricultural fair in February.

It has been viewed several million times. Another, when he appeared to be drunk at a K9-8 press conference last year, has also had millions of hits.

Dr. Turbofire's Sibertarian wing of the Dogmacrat party last night condemned the leak, saying: "Citizens have the right to expect less stupidity from a journalist."

The television network said it had launched an internal investigation to identify those responsible for the leaked film.

No Diggitty

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You will notice that this is a picture of me not digging. A human came to our yard with a white, purple, and hot pink machine to dig up an area to fix our water leak. He wouldn't let us help! Roo Roo told him what she thought about that, but my stupid Human shush her.

I will be going to visit Dr. Debbie on Saturday to get medicine for my stupid seizures. I am neither confirming nor denying that I will be offering her the position of Veterinarian General once I am President.

I have been busy, between napping and not digging, coming up with more political ads. I'll be releasing them in the future (rather than the past).

Quote & Stuff

woo! I read a quote over the weekend by a human that I really like. George Carlin is now, unfortunately, not among the living humans. But if he were still alive, I think he'd be a good running mate for me. Here's his quote:

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Here's what's going on in Tubeyworld: A human is supposed to dig up our water pipes and put new ones in. My Human's laptop is broken, but her PC still works. My Human spent a lot of time this weekend playing Simcity on her stupid PC.

Breaking News!

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Echo alerted me to this important news story from a human television story: The Turbo The Sibe Phenomenon.

RIP, Niki

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My Human would like to make this post:

Niki came to live with me a couple years ago after her previous human passed away. She was 12 at the time.

Last night Niki's health deteriorated. She had trouble walking and seemed not to be able to see. I monitored her health during the night and by morning she seemed to be back to the Niki I knew.

But when I got home from work and Niki wasn't at the window I knew that one way or another it was time for Niki to meet her previous human at the Rainbow Bridge. When I got in the house she was standing, but I could tell that she couldn't see. I offered her a treat, but she couldn't find it. I offered her a bowl of water, but she tried to bite it. So Niki and I took a trip to see Dr. Debbie. They are very nice there. They came out to my truck and sent Niki on her trip from it.

Fare well, Niki. I'm sure you and your previous human Don are catching up on lots of things.

December 08, 1992 to June 19, 2008

Lookie!

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See what Roo Roo put on my Human's bed? We think it's part of the stupid no-possum skull Meepie brought in the house last week.

Wednesday, or Something

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I don't want you to forget that I am the cutest and fluffiest Presidential candidate out there!

I told you about the stupid squirrel. Well, my stupid Human gave it a stupid nickname: Squirk Squirk.

I don't remember if I mentioned that a bird flew in the house on Friday night. It hit the wall above my Human, landed on the bookshelf, then flew away. It was all boring and stupid, so we canines didn't react to it.

Then my Human found a snake in the laundry room. I don't know what the snake was washing, though. I don't think that snakes have clothing.

Later on snake day, Rooie and Fargo found a turtle. Turtles smell interesting, but they aren't fun to chase.

Some human is going to dig up our land to put new pipes underground. Water leak, or something...I don't know. My Human mentioned what was going on, but it was stupid.

Did you here that C$, the big dog is doing well?

Sadly, though, Rufus the Basset hound is sick. Go say "woo."

Sunday Activities

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It's living above the ceiling of our deck!!!!!!!

Campaign Promise

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I was researching husky mascots and logos today and I found an interesting article about the fact that the University of Washington Husky is really a Malamute. Here's a quote:

Malamutes make better mascots than Huskies since they are not as high strung and easier to control in large crowds.

This is my promise to you, when I am President, mascots will correspond to the appropriate animals. In other words, there will be Washington Malamutes.

Seriously, why not? If the Washington humans feel that Malamutes are superior to Huskies as live representatives of their mascot, why not just call themselves the Washington Malamutes?

By the way, for those of you who care about my stupid Human, she's not making hummus this weekend. She said that she's not sure which recipe she wants to use. Sometimes it takes her forever to make decisions!

Skull

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Meepie brought a stupid no-possum skull in to the living room to gnaw on. But my Human threw it away. I'm not sure how Meeps got the skull as it had been on the other side of the fence, where my Human tossed it over a year ago. My Human allowed bugs and other stupid animals to eat the no-possum meat way back then.

It's supposed to storm here tomorrow morning or something.

mishmosh

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My Human is feeling better.

But it is still hot and stupid outside.

My Human is reading John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath. It's taken her about 5 years, so far.

My Human found a blog she's obsessed with.

I got a paper towel tube, but Meepie took it from me.

The ants are marching 1 by 1. Hurrah. Hurrah.

I think it's stupid that the US government is eliminating analog television broadcasting.

AND I think it is stupid that the US government is giving every American human a $40 coupon to get a converter for their analog TV to be able to recieve digital signals. I can think of many things better to do with $990,000,000 the goverment has allocated to the conversion...like let the US tax paying public keep it!

Husky Logo #73

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Today I'm wagging my tail for the logo of the Husky Door Company. Unfortunately, their website is not active. But I found this logo on the website of its designer, silhouette design.

Finally, It's Me!

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I'll start with an election update. Yes, I clinched the nomination. And cheese & bacon were consumed by all. Unfortunately, I had to stay home Tuesday night to monitor my Human. You see, there were stupid thunder storms and my Human needed to be constantly informed that it was Lex's fault. My Human complained on Wednesday that she was tired. She said she only got 2 hours of sleep. She said that it is our fault that she didn't fall asleep till 3:30am. Whatever.

Hey! On Monday night that stupid Dyson that lives at our house caused the electricity to break. It caused 2 circuits to flip to the stop working setting. Never trust a vacuum!

My Human has felt not healthy all week. She's old and stupid. You know what humans are like...

Also Not Me

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Not Pictures Of Me

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I didn't blog this weekend because I didn't feel like it. I'm a Sibe, and I don't do what I don't want to do. I will tell you what I think about those human Democrats' Florida and Michigan primary votes. I don't care. Humans can easily make a mess of things when they don't let a dog help.

My Human bought a stupid noisy thing that she is using to knock down the tall grass in our bigger field we run around in. My Human has tried to hire humans to do the work for her, but unlike dogs, humans have a poor work ethic.



Here's Meepie:



Here's Roo Roo: